with Sally Prosser
Your voice is the organ of your soul. And as a soul-led entrepreneur, you want to make sure it’s coming through loud and clear so your message is heard.
In this episode, we’re joined by voice and public speaking coach, Sally Prosser, who shows us the connection between our beliefs, inner voice, and physical voice. She’s here to help you conquer the nerves, speak with unwavering confidence, and have you using your voice to grow your business.
We chat about:
- The ways female business owners can infuse their voices with feminine energy to drive business growth.
- Using belief phrases to tap into your support system (hype squad) rather than negative influences (hate squad).
- The power of writing in the masculine and delivering in the feminine to connect with intuition and audiences.
- Techniques to transform nervous energy before speaking into a positive force.
- Recognising different ‘voices’ and using them to explore your emotions in various situations.
- Turning anecdotes into powerful stories that connect with your audience and provide valuable takeaways.
Whether you’re a professional speaker or someone looking to improve your communication skills, get ready to find your unique voice and use it to connect, inspire and influence!
Sally Prosser is a voice and public speaking coach.
Over the past 20 years she’s helped hundreds of professionals speak with more confidence, had a career as a TV reporter and built a community of more than 300 thousand on TikTok.
She’s a TEDx Speaker Coach, an expert on using a hairbrush as a microphone and in 2020 was named Young Entrepreneur of the Year for PR and Media in Queensland.
Sally is your one-stop-shop for everything speaking. From gaining the confidence to put yourself out there .. to producing a strong voice .. to crafting speeches for the stage .. and designing strategy to get your spoken message heard.
And with a strong belief that our voice is the organ of our soul, she’s all about finding your unique voice and speaking from the heart!
You can connect with Sally:
Podcast: That Voice Podcast
Soul Speakers – a one-of-its-kind community for soul-driven business owners and professionals – https://sallyprosser.mykajabi.com/soul-speakers
Free Pep Talks in Your Pocket – https://sallyprosser.mykajabi.com/pep-talks-in-your-pocket
Business Voice Audit – DM Sally on Instagram for a copy
Tune in + Listen on your favourite platform
CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
WORK WITH AMANDA:
- Private Coaching – A high-end 1:1 coaching experience for service-based CEOs to cultivate the inner environment to hold your next level success.
- Breakthrough Intensive – Dismantle the resistance and and reprogram limiting beliefs to step back into your power.
- Say goodbye to the *Shine and Shrink* cycle and become a stand-out authority and leader in your industry. Check out our FREE masterclass – Elevate to Expand – to break through your internal glass ceiling and fully embody your leadership.
- Discover an untapped source of creativity and magnetism where your magic flows through you more potent than ever. Download my FREE Pleasure-Fuelled Business Playbook to cultivate a soul-nourishing business that you won’t want to burn to the ground.
- Schedule a FREE 15 minute Vibe Session to see if we’re an aligned fit and discover how we can best work together.
P.S. If you loved this episode, please review and share with another feminine luminary who needs to hear this!
0:00:50 – Amanda
Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Feminine Luminary podcast. I had the absolute pleasure this week of interviewing Sally Prosser, who is a voice and public speaking coach, and over the past 20 years, she has helped hundreds of professionals speak with more confidence. She’s a TEDx speaker coach. She’s had a career as a TV reporter. She’s also built a community of over 300,000 on TikTok and in 2020, she was named the young entrepreneur of the year for PR and media in Queensland. Sally jokes that she’s an expert. She’s using a hairbrush as a microphone and likes to say that she was born with a microphone in her hand. Sally really is your one-stop shop for everything speaking from gaining the confidence to put yourself out there to producing a strong voice, to crafting speeches for the stage and designing strategy to get your spoken message heard. She has this strong belief that our voice is the organ of our soul. She’s all about finding your unique voice and really speaking from the heart.
This particular episode is one that you don’t want to miss. We have such an in-depth conversation around how to speak from your soul, how to harness your feminine energy and your voice and speaking, and really how you can use this to grow your business. So I know this is something that you are desiring to create and it’s something that you definitely don’t want to miss out. So let’s dive into all that goodness. Sal, I’m so excited to welcome you onto the show and it’s funny because I actually first came across through your work about three or four years ago now. It was when I was first creating my very first podcast and did a lot onto this, and you actually did a masterclass around using your voice from a podcasting perspective and since then, every time I sat down and cried, I’m like you were in my head. I love the fact that you get to be in front of me now and actually have this two-way conversation rather than it just being one way. So welcome to the show. I’m so excited to be here today.
0:02:55 – Sally
Oh, Amanda, it’s been a long time coming. It sounds like it’s so great to be here.
0:03:00 – Amanda
Absolutely, and I know what we’re going to talk about is just going to be so incredible for this community, and I can’t wait to dive into the conversation. But before we do, I have one question that I’d love to ask you, that I ask of all of my guests, and it is what makes you and your work, luminary. This is such a great question.
0:03:18 – Sally
To start with, I love it. I feel like if we think about people’s light, the way that we feel, that is so much through the way that they speak and through their voice, and so I feel like my work is luminary, because I get to ignite all of these beautiful lights in other people and help them share that through the channel that is their voice. So I do see myself as a light worker, and in more ways than one, because being able to bring out your light through your voice is such a privilege and such a great role to have. Thank you, sister Nair, and I love that you talk about being a light worker because there’s this definition.
0:04:01 – Amanda
I think that so many of us believe that what a light worker is, but really I think, when we look in the broader sense, it really is about bringing light to the world. And I think that in a lot of sense, it really is about bringing out someone’s light, allowing them to fully emanate with their true essence, and I think, as you mentioned, the voice is such a powerful way of being able to bring that out. So I can’t wait to chat all about that and understand how we can really do that ourselves. So, before we get into it, how did you actually get into being a voice coach, because it is something very specific. How did you come to get into it?
0:04:36 – Sally
Yes, well, I feel like I was born microphone first. I’ve just loved speaking from when I was young. I was about six or seven when all I wanted from Santa was a microphone with a stand, and I remember opening it up on Christmas Day and the first thing I did was say a thank you speech to Santa for the microphone. And then it went from there and me, you know, singing in front of the mirror and giving speeches, and I enrolled in or my mum enrolled me in speech and drama from quite an early age. And then I did public speaking and debating all through school and then became a speech and drama teacher myself. From the front room of my parents’ house I had students coming along. And then I went into TV and radio news reporting, which of course, voice is a big part of that. And then, after my career in news, I was in public relations and I’m sharing this chronology just to give the flavor that voice has always been a big part of what I have done. My business, though I feel like that point came from my late 20s, where I was reporting for Channel 7 at the time and I tell 10 at the time oh my gosh, better get the stations right, and so I was a national news reporter by day, by night.
I was a really struggling, silenced girlfriend. I was in this horrible relationship where there was a lot of lying going on. He told me he was a doctor. Didn’t seem to be the truth. I didn’t know what was the truth. I asked questions about it. I was being shut down. I tried to express concerns and I didn’t know what to say. I could feel my voice was really retreating during that time. And my family, of course. I’m very close to my family and they were not too impressed about what was going on. So what do you do? What any other woman in my situation would do. I just told them I broke up with him and then continued to date him in secret. Oh no, that was a mistake.
But during that time it got worse, right, because I was not speaking my truth at all. I didn’t know what the truth was, and so I really stopped speaking and lost sense of who I was and lost so much confidence. And I share this because it taught me there is a big difference between speaking with confidence. You know, I was on TV in the day and really speaking your truth and speaking from your soul. And there was one night during that period when I found myself lying on the bed and I was full of all those horrible emotions, of the guilt and the grief and the anger and the sadness. I was sad for my own voice because I just could feel it was such a long cry from, long cry, far cry, from that girl who gave a speech to Santa, you know.
And I took a deep breath and I could feel this like fire rise in me as I was lying on that bed and I let out this big sigh, this kind of whale sound, and I felt myself like rise, like the phoenix on the bed and in that moment I said to myself I’m going to reclaim this voice. I know I have, and that’s when I decided to make it my goal and my life’s mission to really help other people find the fire in their belly, to find their light, so they too can feel it and use their voice as a way of release. Because that’s what ended up happening with that relationship. From that moment I started telling the truth. I repaired those relationships with my family. I even went back to doing like silly tongue twisters and voice exercises. I did when I was younger and through using my physical voice, I was able to rediscover my inner voice.
0:08:48 – Amanda
That is so powerful and I think your story around the voice, it is something that translates and is something that is so relevant to so many other people as well Is that your voice is your truth, and what happens is, when we start to dull our truth, we start to do something that we don’t do so much.
Then we feel lost. We can be putting on this mask for the external world. Where you were showing up in your job you’re being a presenter and you were coming across this fierce path on all of these things that are purely just remarks, it was behind the closed doors that you were discerning your truth. You were discerning your voice, and so when you actually then came to reclaim that and to step back into that power, oh, I can just imagine the feeling that would have erupted from you, like you said, rising from the ashes and just knowing that you know what this is my calling, this is what I want to do, and you started to invite that fun, that playfulness, all of the things from your childhood back into that, and I think your story is just so beautiful the way that you did that. It’s almost like a fairy tale ending, and at the end of the sentence, it’s something that I think so many of us can aspire to as well, so thank you so much for sharing that.
0:09:56 – Sally
Oh, my pleasure. And of course it wasn’t quite the fairy tale ending. It was. I held onto this horrible relationship for many more months. After that I was working in other roles and it wasn’t like it was that day and then the next day I set up my business. There’s always that there was that process. Absolutely that’s where it began and it was building up my confidence and a whole lot of other things for them to lead into what I do now.
But it’s true what you say this mask that people wear, I can now hear it in people’s voices. There’s a lot of disassociation from the voice going on. So, even though we have our voice box, our voice is so much more than the neck up, I believe. You know. It runs from the soles of our feet right to the crown of our head and I hear a lot of people who are breathing quite high.
They’ve got a lot of tension around their neck and then the voice is quite high pitched and then it’s really really fast because we’re overthinking and we’re overstressing and our heads in our phones and we don’t know what we’re going to say and we lose track of our thoughts and all of a sudden everything goes to pieces because we’re losing that connection with the voice in our body. So that’s, you know, one, the biggest tip I can give you is ground yourself, rub your thighs and breathe nice and low and deep into the belly so you are able to connect with your power, especially, you know, around that solar plexus area. That’s where the diaphragm runs, the solar plexus being the seat of our self esteem. So when we doubt ourselves and the diaphragm locks up, that’s another thing that pushes the voice high. So you know, if you ever wondered why your voice does weird things when you doubt yourself, that’s why because it’s like a two to three case, the sight behind it.
0:11:35 – Amanda
Because it’s something that you notice, but you don’t necessarily understand the white behind, and I know. For me personally, I love to understand why things are happening and just hearing you explain that intuitively, and you’re just hearing the explanation behind it, it goes to show that, yes, these are why you’re doing all these things to really ground, to ground yourself before you step out on stage, before you do a podcast, before you speak to someone, even just in an everyday conversation. The power of the boards. Oh my gosh, it is incredible.
I remember hearing someone and this is a sidetracked tangent here Someone was talking about how in I believe it’s the Japanese culture they actually can pause for minutes at a time and that’s considered normal. I know if I was sitting there having a conversation with someone and all of a sudden they paused and sat there just staring at me, contemplating for 30 seconds, or they really gained like, regained their thoughts, I’d be going oh my gosh, what’s wrong with me? What’s going on? It’s me on the problem. But just bringing that back, it really comes back to grounding in our body and being okay to take the time to collect our thoughts, to stand in our power, to own our voice and then project that out into the world.
I love that you talk about there with your soul work. You had this framework, which is about connecting the mind, the body and the breath. I’d love to talk into that a little bit more.
0:13:01 – Sally
Yeah, absolutely, I love what you shared. Having that confidence to pause. Confidence means to trust, so it’s trusting ourselves to take that time and, of course, we can only breathe in while we’re not speaking. So, true, so we need to think on the in breath and then speak on the out breath. I also liked when you were like it’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me. I got Taylor Swift tickets for Melbourne night too. I’m like we’re excited.
0:13:30 – Amanda
I saw that in your story. I was like, oh my gosh, I wish that was going. I missed the word.
0:13:35 – Sally
Yeah, oh, so excited. So the soul voice triangle or framework that I like to use. This is so useful because it doesn’t matter where you’re speaking, whether it’s speaking up in your personal relationships or on social media or on stage or in a meeting, doesn’t matter where you are. If you have these building blocks, then you will be put in really good stead and it’s also a great way to become self-aware about what’s going on. So, for example, that voice I said before, the really high one and the fast one, it’s not necessarily bad. I like it, I listen out for it and when I hear it I think, oh gosh, sal, right, I don’t actually refer to myself in third person that much. I don’t know why I did that. I like to ground. I think, ok, I need to do something different here. So if you hear your voice doing different things in front of different people, maybe it can be an invitation to say, oh right, well, what is that person bringing out in me? Why is in that particular setting? I feel that way. Is it the person, is it the environment? Right? So the framework starts with our belief. Our inner voice drives our physical voice. So it’s really important that those beliefs and that inner voice is really positive and helping us.
Listening to the hype squad, not the hate squad, so not the. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You can’t do this. You’re not the right person to speak. Who wants to listen to you? Who do you think you are? And turning to our hype squad, our cheerleader, our best friend, our lover, our warrior, to say, yes, you’ve got this. You have something valuable to say. People want to listen to you. You were born to do this. You are absolutely smart enough. You’re the right person to be speaking on this. There’s like so many different things.
We want that soundtrack to be running and if you’re just starting out, just come up with one belief phrase, just one sentence that you’re going to tell yourself before you embark on any kind of speaking. And I would recommend using the F-bomb, like if you put that into anything in your internal voice. It’s really helpful. Yeah, it’s the emphasis. You know who are you. I’m Sally fucking Prosa. It’s really, really helpful to give yourself that pep talk, yeah, to start with. Then, when we know what we’re thinking, we can go into how my feelings so I touched on this earlier around getting in our body. So am I in my body, rolling the shoulders back and forth, shaking the legs, shaking your hands is a really good one, you know, because those feelings of nerves or anxiety, it’s just energy that needs to be harnessed. Yeah, it’s like we don’t want to get rid of our butterflies, we just want them flying in formation. Yes, I often think of those feelings. I get it in the tummy and also the heart, like little cute fireflies. I’m like it’s all right, guys.
It’s all right you’re trapped. I’m going to help you get out and I’m going to go through the wall or I’m stretching.
Yeah, I’m like we can do this and that also where the belief comes in, because it’s not. Oh my gosh, I’ve got butterflies. I don’t know what I’m doing, it’s all right. I’ve got this feeling. My body is preparing myself for action. I’m excited, you know. So it’s this loop that we run. You know, the thoughts amplify the feelings and the feelings amplify the thoughts. Getting in the body, doing lots of shaking, moving, dancing, get a theme song. I definitely recommend that.
0:17:05 – Amanda
What’s your theme song?
0:17:07 – Sally
Probably a lot of Taylor Swift at the moment, but probably Sia Unstoppable.
0:17:13 – Amanda
Yes, that was my theme song for a very long time as well. My daughter has listened to that on repeat nonstop and she’s kind of she’s going to be off in a little bit. So I’m still defining new theme song, but that one is incredible. I hear you on that.
0:17:25 – Sally
It’s so great. Yeah, I put my armor on show you how strong I am. It’s like really inspirational and associating different emotions with different songs. I also, like Taylor Swift’s, did something bad, but she’s like they’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one, so light me up. Light me up.
0:17:40 – Amanda
Light me up.
0:17:40 – Sally
It’s a really good one when you’re dealing with or worried about criticism. Okay, so that’s the second part getting in the body. Then the third part is bringing in the breath, because our voice is a musical instrument powered by air. If we were in the orchestra, we’d be sitting with the woodwinds, all the instruments powered by air.
0:17:59 – Amanda
I was going to say the wind instruments. So yeah, okay, perfect.
0:18:02 – Sally
So we forget this and when we lose our voice or feel like we’re choking up, we’re not losing the voice, it’s just we’re losing the air. Our wind pipes like a garden hose and if it’s all squished then you know the water can’t get out or it comes out really kinky and we get this kind of crackly sound like that. So when we’ve got the air flowing, so we want the air low and deep or below the bra. The only time you want your shoulders to rise when you breathe is if you’re wanting to look really hot in an Instagram photo. So if you breathe into your shoulders, you get the boob lifted. Look, I was kidding. And this is what happens with women. We’re conditioned to, you know, hold it in.
When really for voice, we want it to be relaxed, we want our beautiful sacral area, solar plexus area, to expand with air and then we can engage the diaphragm to have that beautiful support as it flows out, and you can hear the difference in quality in my voice. So if we’re speaking just from the head and up here, we’ve got that crackly kind of sound. It’s so different when we bring it down and we have those words writing out on the wave of air. So those three questions what am I thinking? Am I in my body? Where am I? How am I feeling? And then, where is the breath going? And if you have those three things, you are in good stead for anything you want to speak at.
0:19:27 – Amanda
Oh that is incredible, isn’t it? And like anything, it does take practice to be able to get those three things in. Low, I’m sure. But even just as you’re speaking, sitting here and trying, I hate the way I’m trying, but it’s not because we’re either doing or we’re not doing.
Don’t try to do your things Exactly, just do it. So, sitting here and actually feeling the breath coming out all the way from my diaphragm, speaking at my mouth, it just feels so much more liberating, doesn’t it? It’s I don’t know about you, but it feels like it’s so much more clarity as well in the words and they just they come up with much more ease. So it’s incredible. It’s incredible just these three little things that we can think about to make such a difference in the way that we speak.
I also want to chat about this idea of harnessing our feminine energy in our voice, in the way that we speak, and I believe there’s such this concept that the feminine is weak, the feminine is quiet, and we are taught to really embrace the masculine or really embody the masculine, because they’re going to be much more powerful and over the top and people are going to listen. But what is your stance on this? Around speaking Because we are feminine beings, I know for me personally, I believe there is so much power in the weak and in the soft. I should say soft is not necessarily weak. I personally believe that, but I think there’s a lot of people who still tend to fall on that wounded masculine because they feel they’d be allowed to be heard. Where do you stand on?
0:20:55 – Sally
that? Yeah, absolutely. And, amanda, this is we do a whole episode just on. This is a journey I’ve really gone through.
I was really in the masculine, had a lot of internalized misogyny that I didn’t realize I had very much. I don’t need a man, I can. It was worse than that. For a long while I was like I hate men. I’d say it every day in the shower to myself, anyway. And then I’m like I’ve got my very Beyonce. You know the house I live in, I bought it, the car I drive in, I bought it.
And I’m in really, really hyper masculine, even in the communication style. And it’s difficult because a lot of the corporate culture is still like that, where it’s the loud voice, it’s the direct voice, it’s the deep voice, it’s all of those masculine vocal qualities that are being revered and listened to. So, with the feminine and he’s, I mean, of course, this is where our power really lies, and if we spend half the energy being a woman that we did, trying to be masculine, I believe as a, as a race of beautiful women, we would be so much stronger. So what can you do? I believe that when we’re speaking, we want to write in the masculine and deliver in the feminine, write in the masculine, deliver in the feminine. If we write in the masculine and deliver in the masculine, what we get is everything being hyper organized, everything planned. I know what I’m saying. It really, really rigid. And then we go in there and we deliver it in that rigid way. So it’s all rehearsed and it might sound good and you might get through it and say everything confidently, but there’ll be no connection, there’ll be none of that magic.
On the flip side, if we write in the feminine and deliver in the feminine, then we kind of just get this meandering, never ending tangents of don’t know where we’re going, don’t know what we’re saying, like we’re just looking, patting horses and looking at flowers. It’s just all over the place. I went to a beautiful water priestess retreat in the south of France earlier this year and it was so lovely. There was so much feminine energy. You know, at one stage we were all getting together to go and look at a particular church and there was one person patting a horse, one person you know flowers, one person daydreaming, someone else just singing in the street, and it was so funny because I thought, oh goodness, after this I think we do need a bit of masculine.
0:23:24 – Amanda
It’s so stereotypical, isn’t it? When you think of the white flutie dressers, it’s like no, this is exactly if it’s as well, we need a little bit of structure. Come on, you’ve got somewhere to be.
0:23:33 – Sally
Exactly. It was so funny I had to really check myself because I felt so much of the inner masculine come out in that setting where I just sort of wanted to organise. So it was a really great experience for me to be able to say no, I can be in the softness, be in the flow. And we did do a photo shoot in the flowy white dresses so stereotypical.
0:23:54 – Amanda
You can’t get away from it. It’s the flowing material. It looks good, impressive.
0:24:00 – Sally
Absolutely so what we want to do when we write in the masculine, which means we create a nice structure, we have different frameworks, we know round about where we’re going with something and then we allow ourselves to flow in the feminine. So, not having every single line planned, not reading every single thing off a script, being able to use that powerful intuition. We have to connect with the audience and read what they need, and of course, this comes with practice. But it’s a really good principle to get into your power. I suppose I have a lot of people who beat themselves up because all I do is go on tangents and I can’t get my words out, and then people who beat themselves up going well, unless I’m prepared to a tee, then I don’t feel like I’m doing well. So I feel like writing in the masculine, delivering in the feminine, is great for that.
The next part of it is in the actual quality of the voice and the way we use it. So the masculine power and again I’m being quite general here this is about voice and public speaking. So there’s so much deeper. We could go into this and I’m sure you have so much on this topic as well, but I think of the masculine energy being really in the shoulders and the feminine being more in the hips. Yes, so before speaking, really move your hips like circle and stir your hips, even like do the yoga. Happy baby on the floor. I mean, that’s pretty out there. You have to be probably by yourself if you’re doing that one, but really getting the movement in the hips round and round and moving through the waist, because that will help activate this part of our body, activate the sacral, the joy, right, the joy of speaking, our sensuality. You know another thing you can also do when you speak. We’re really sexy underwear or none at all.
0:25:52 – Amanda
No one has to know, it’s Julie, just. No, that’s steering, isn’t it?
0:25:56 – Sally
Exactly. You’re the only one that knows, so, if you can go out there, I’ve spoken on stage and I’ve done workshops. I don’t think anybody else really listens to this, but I’ve done workshops in front of like old white men in engineering firms with no undies on, and there’s an incredible feminine power and feeling of confidence and playfulness that comes out of your voice when you do something like that.
0:26:27 – Amanda
And for the fighting, poking and plays. Isn’t that? Because this is all part of a feminine we get to have fun. If he’s standing there with a script that you written, then you can’t do it yet from, because if you did do that, all of a sudden you’ve lost your place. You’re completely got no idea where you’re going. This is where they get to play. They have fun. Absolutely yes, through the earphone Connection, please.
0:26:49 – Sally
Connect and also within the feminine, playing in the dark and the light. You know. So there are times when I’ll be in my leather pants and my high heels and I’ll step forward and I’ll stand and I’ll feel like that scene in Charlie’s Angel when Lucy Lou is like going around the class with the whip while Drew, back in the morning, someone else is trying to sneak in right and it will be still and it will be strong and there are certain parts of your content where this lends itself to doing that. But then I’ll go into the light feminine where I will be moving around and walking around the room and the picture, the voice will go higher and the gestures will be more flowy and I feel like this whole conversation and this whole topic.
I love it so much because when I work with clients on this, it’s this big permission slip, like. I feel like it’s the same as getting your human design read or learning about astrology or any of these things that help us learn about ourselves. It’s like this oh, I didn’t realize I was allowed to do it like that. I thought the rule was this. I thought you’re not allowed to just show up and present. I thought you had to do it this way, or you had to do it that way, and so it’s breaking those rules, which is kind of feminine in itself, isn’t it?
0:28:05 – Amanda
I was going to say. Who decides the rules generally is the masculine. This is very much the systemic, where the things being done, this is the system, these are the rules, you follow it. Yeah, and that doesn’t suit me. Now, I’m a bit of a rule breaker, I like to do things my way. But you’re so right that when we actually get to experiences and some artists, it’s OK to do it that way. That feels good to be you. You go for it. It says that at least that weight off your shoulders, that permission slip, and I think one of the most powerful things that we can do as feminine leaders is to really go first and show others that this is OK, this is the way. Come along to the ride. Your thing, you do you.
0:28:45 – Sally
Yeah, be pioneering and be be brave. You know, I would have posed a couple of weeks ago. I post a lot on social media and I’ve had a lot of hate and I’ve sort of been there been through all that, which has been great because you realise the sky doesn’t fall in.
It was very, very liberating. I would definitely highly recommend posts until you get hate and be Be, but yeah. But I had this one comment that was a bit of a troll, but it got into my skin and it said you don’t count, you’ve been in menopause since the Roman Empire. Suck it up, gosh. Just a little trolley comment, but I thought you know what? No enough. And if anyone can stand out there and talk about periods, I’m going to do it. It’s me. I’m a woman and I bleed and I did this whole video just sharing different memories of my period through the years in different, different things. And I believe if we want to take away any kind of shame or stigma, we need to talk about it Like our voice. Is this great tool for us to release negative emotions? There’s this phrase that shame and guilt cannot survive the spoken word. You know it’s the secrecy and the silence.
But yeah, so if we can bring it to the light, back to the luminary, if we can bring it to the light, then it takes away its hold over us, and so I put this video out there and I haven’t put it on LinkedIn, you know. So maybe there is still a little bit of that.
The rules worry the rules of engagement on LinkedIn, you know, maybe that’s part of it. Yeah, I put it on TikTok and Instagram and was inundated with comments from other women saying thank you for sharing. Yes, I feel you and I have my own story and I was proud of myself for doing that, because it goes to show how much healing there is in using our voice and sharing our story and speaking about things that may be a little bit taboo Because, as you say, it’s a very masculine world and a lot of really real feminine issues have been forced to be pushed into that horrible house of shame and guilt.
0:31:11 – Amanda
When we are wanting to use our voice to grow our business as women, we normally talk about aligning your soul voice and really coming into your own truth. Say, how can we use our soul voice to support our brand message and create that really strong and authentic connection with our audience? Like, how do we actually do it? Yes, use it.
0:31:31 – Sally
Use it so the beautiful thing about your voice and your business. I believe that it’s a beautiful thing about your voice and your business. I believe it’s your most valuable asset, because you can’t canva your voice, you can’t outsource your voice, you can’t chat, gpt your voice. Some people would argue and say, oh yes, they’re doing voice cloning and all that kind of thing. But really you know, your voice and face, showing up for your audience, is unbeatable. It can do things that no graphic can do, that no caption can do. In my business, you’ll see, I do use graphics, I do write, I do use photos as well. It breaks my heart when I see online some amazing businesses and I don’t even know what their name is. I go to the profile there’s no name. I go to the reels there’s maybe them doing something with some music in the background, but I don’t know where they’re from. I can’t hear their heart. So we’ve got this amazing ability, especially at the moment with social media. Wi-fi was invented in 1997. It’s great, isn’t it? That’s such a recent invention. It’s so recent that we’ve got this opportunity to be able to connect with such a large group of people and our ideal client. The more we put our voice out there, the more the algorithm works for us. We often bag the algorithm, but if we use it well, it can help us A lot.
In the past you’d put an ad in the paper very expensive, very expensive ad on TV that most small businesses can’t afford, and then you wouldn’t even know if somebody who wants to buy your service would be watching or reading, whereas now we have this great opportunity with social media and using your voice. There is just no better way to connect. So I would say I’ve got this thing. Actually, I didn’t even plan on this because I haven’t got it all set up to be downloaded, amanda, but I have a business voice, oh okay, where you go through and you give yourself points where you can see where are you using your voice?
Are you doing like social media videos, social media lives, podcasting? Do you have your own? Are you a guest? Are you speaking at events? Are you going to networking events, are you putting on webinars? It’s a pretty comprehensive document, but it goes through all the different ways that your voice can be heard and I did this with a group the other day and it can be quite shocking because people were like, wow, they were in single digits out of 50. How can I expect people to be buying my service or product when there’s no way they are really hearing me?
0:34:28 – Amanda
And we started to blame the algorithm. Like I said, we need to take our camp out. There’s ways that we can get ourselves out there that isn’t relied upon the algorithm. So I’m definitely going to have a look at myself because I know for sure there are areas that I can definitely improve.
0:34:47 – Sally
So I’m very excited to see that one come out. I don’t have a link, so just DM me and I will email it to you directly. I do have a link for pep talks in your pocket, so if you would like to have audio tracks which take you through warming up your voice and ditching the self doubt and all of these things to help you prepare, I have hype team, isn’t it the hype team? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody wrote on one of my posts oh, hype girl, what are you 10?
0:35:17 – Amanda
She’s like it works.
0:35:20 – Sally
Oh, here’s the thing she’s like. What do you have to be thinking to put criticism like that? It reminds me of a Taylor Swift quote, actually, where she says the worst kind of person is somebody who makes people feel bad about something they’re excited about.
0:35:37 – Amanda
Yeah, true, isn’t it?
0:35:39 – Sally
If it’s not for you, it’s not everyone. Yeah, anyway, I don’t actually use the word hype girl in the audio tracks. They are like very useful coaching tracks because my clients were saying, sal, I wish I could have you in my ear. So I recorded them and gave it to them and then now I’m making them available for everybody. So that link will be in the show notes, that’s brilliant, thank you, and then that’s been so valuable.
0:36:02 – Amanda
I’m going to definitely don’t like myself rather than just your voice in my head and have your voice in my ear as well. I just want to circle back to this how we can actually use your voice for your business and to really build that, because I know storytelling is such a potent part of it. It’s such an important thing and quite also a lot of us really struggle with storytelling. I’m going to say but we actually use our voice to crouch a really compelling and inspiring story that is going to support our vision and everything else to really bring our clients along, or potential clients along, in that journey with us.
0:36:40 – Sally
Dearing stories is so powerful. I’ve got a framework I use which is quite simple. It’s called car. So if you remember car, you’ve got to drive the story forward. So the C stands for what is the context? So I might say I was doing a webinar early on in my business and I was taking the group through this beautiful body exercise. It’s kind of like the rag doll in yoga where you need to hang down and then build yourself up vertebrae, bribe, vertebrae, bi-vertebrae, right. I was trying to say that, couldn’t say it just like then. Then the A stands for the action, and the action is sort of what happened and this could be as well. I stumbled over the words and I was beating myself up. I could not get this phrase out. I’m thinking I’m supposed to be a voice and speaking coach. The three people on my call are going to want their money back. The whole business is going to implode. Next week I’m going to be on the street eating cat food out of a tin. Catastrophe, catastrophe.
0:37:52 – Amanda
We could testify at size things. So there we go and suddenly go to my voice to be a catastrophe.
0:38:00 – Sally
And then the R is the result. The result was people loved it, people thought it was so funny and they said oh, sal, it’s good to know that you’re a real person. Yes, make stumbles. And it created such a great connection, to the point where I don’t do what I used to do, which is deliver in the masculine. Going back to what you were speaking about earlier was like deliver in that everything has to be perfect, because the playfulness of the mistake and the laugh, people felt my heart. You know they really felt me and it created that beautiful connection. So see how that was the context, the action, the result. And then you can add the T onto the end so car can become cut, and the T is what the takeaway is. And you always need to have this, because if you don’t have a takeaway for your audience, you’re just telling a story with no point, which I’m sure everyone can relate to people doing right. So it needs to have a point and the takeaway there is don’t worry about saying everything perfectly, because often the very thing that you worry about is the very thing that will create a stronger connection with your audience. So maybe that worrying of all, I have to have makeup on.
I’ve found some of my most viral videos have been the makeup free, casual ones, you know, to see how there’s the takeaway of the story, which is you know, what can people get from that? What’s the lesson? So think in your business and that everyone has thousands of them and, like little vignettes, we hear the story and we’re like, oh my gosh, we need to tell this big life story. But what is the little anecdote or lesson you can share to help bring out the point you want to make? And you can work backwards so you can say what is the point? So the point might be I don’t know. Could you give what’s an example, amanda? What’s like a point you’d like your audience?
0:40:00 – Amanda
to take away? What’s the point that I’d like to take away from this, that I think, just talking about this is that it’s the small stories that are the ones that are most powerful, it’s not the big life story.
0:40:12 – Sally
Right, okay, so the small stories are the ones that are the most powerful. So then, think about your, your life and your day. Where has been an example where something that has seemed really small ended up being really significant?
0:40:28 – Amanda
Right. So alright, I’m going to figure it out as I’m going along, because nothing needs to be perfect here. So my daughter’s home from school today sick it’s not how I plan my day to go. I have a day of back to back recordings, flight meetings. It’s a busy day.
0:40:43 – Sally
So that’s amazing. So your daughter’s home sick and you’re supposed to get a hold of her done, and then what’s been the action? What’s what’s changed as a result of her being home? I hope she’s okay.
0:40:53 – Amanda
It’s just a simple little cold. It was just a case Can’t sit at a school. So the action is that my husband is also home. We have a five-hour family. He works away quite a bit. He actually just came home, so he stayed home with her, looked after her. The result was he got that connection time. I was then able to come in here and I was able to focus on my work, focus on my clients, bring myself fully to it and have this conversation with you.
0:41:15 – Sally
I feel like the takeaway there is that sometimes things that on the face of it seem like a inconvenience and a negative like oh no, my daughter’s home from school she’s not well can turn out to be really magical, because she got to have that connection with her dad that she might not otherwise normally have because of the way that he works. So then you could say so when something in your business happens you get that rejection email or something doesn’t go right with a staff member, or something happens that you think, oh my gosh, what is that silver lining? You never know where it could lead. And if you believe that the universe is always conspiring in our favor, then we know that everything is leading to a great outcome.
0:42:02 – Amanda
That is such a beautiful takeaway for me. I love the way to grab children’s stories and it just goes to show me that.
0:42:07 – Sally
And I do it a lot, though it’s practice.
0:42:09 – Amanda
Yeah, it is in practice, and that’s what I was going to say is that this is not something that I do day in, day, out of my business, but it’s certainly something that I aspire to do more, and I think there’s a beautiful metaphor as well that you used.
0:42:23 – Sally
0:42:26 – Amanda
Yeah, so it’s certainly something that I aspire to do more of, and you’ve just shown that, when it is something that you do day in, day out, you can simply listen to other people’s stories and you can pick up those little things that you were trying to take away from it. And when we practice, the better we become at all these things, and I can’t wait to start leading more of these into the way that I use my voice and everything is a story.
0:42:48 – Sally
you know, like every little thing, it doesn’t need to actually be about business. In a way, if it’s not about business, it can be more effective. So when you said about the little things can make a big difference, the story that came to mind was the time that I mismeasured the amount of vanilla essence to put into a cake. And, believe me, there’s a big difference between a little bit of vanilla essence.
0:43:08 – Amanda
You got to taste that.
0:43:11 – Sally
Sometimes you know less is more and that something that might seem insignificant can make a big difference to the end outcome.
0:43:21 – Amanda
Absolutely, especially when you’re baking it. I was baking the kids a Keeney slice the other day and I’ve come to the realization that I don’t like baking as a Keeney is because I love the idea of it, but whenever I try and bake it becomes that way too wet, way too moist and I just completely stop the cake.
0:43:42 – Sally
Oh well, I admire you because my baking days are well in the past. I just like I use jigsaw puzzles to relax because baking is too interesting.
0:43:54 – Amanda
That’s amazing, oh gosh. I love this conversation of the random, that a random direction has gone in, but it is all about using our voice and being able to speak our truth. We have that sense of connection with people because, even though we’re talking randomly about baking and how mishaps when it comes to baking, we are still having that connection with each other, we’re still using our voice, we are still really being able to share our story. Stand in our power, bring all of us to the conversation, and it just feels so magical. Love that couple, yeah.
0:44:30 – Sally
And when you were mentioning earlier about how the pausing, was it in Japanese culture, where it’s the, the long pause?
0:44:36 – Amanda
I believe it’s Japanese. I am paraphrasing that from someone, so secondhand information and please don’t hold me to it if it’s not right, but that’s what I was told I do.
0:44:45 – Sally
Yeah, I have heard something similar as well, I don’t know for sure. But this is another reason why I do silent retreats. And just yesterday actually, no two days ago I got accepted to do a vipassana in the UK, and the vipassana is the 10 day silent retreat where you essentially just sit in meditation for 10 days no reading, no writing, no speaking, no eye contact. And it’s going to be such an intense challenge.
Yet I’m really keen for it because when we think about voice, of course a lot of it is about using it and making sound. Yet there’s such an important role to listen to our own inner voice and be able to get clarity around. Well, I’m speaking very slowly now because I’m like I haven’t gone yet, so I don’t really know what’s going to happen. But I’m imagining that my whole mind will just all shut down, like all the little tabs that are open. All the time will just be like off, off, off, off, and then, once it’s clear, I don’t know what’s going to come in. But I’m excited to share with my physical voice what that is after being quiet for so long.
0:46:01 – Amanda
Oh, I can’t wait to hear how that has turned out. I imagine there’s going to be so much resistance early on, but when you actually get to that point of everything will slowly shutting down, you push past that wall. What’s on the other side of that is just so profound. Oh, I’m excited for you.
0:46:18 – Sally
I hope so it will be. Yes, my knee and my ankle go like super dead when I’m in a cross-legged position, so I’m like I really hope they don’t mind if we stretch around.
0:46:30 – Amanda
So it’s actually sitting cross-legged in that very masculine style of meditation. Is it very rigid? Don’t move.
0:46:37 – Sally
Is that how it is. I think that we get to do walking meditations for part of it, because it’s literally like the alarm is at four and then it’s 4.30 to 6.30 am is meditation, then it’s breakfast, then it’s more meditation, then it’s lunch, then it’s more meditation, then it’s not even dinner, it’s just tea, yes, and then it’s more meditation. So I don’t know, it’s so terrifying. Yet I’m so excited for it, because you know they say there’s no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone. So I feel like if I keep putting myself out there for the growth, there’s less chance that the universe is going to hit me with a brick. Exactly.
0:47:20 – Amanda
It’s not going to do it for you. You’re there actively taking those steps and you’re there pushing yourself so you don’t get pushed past. You’re also making it, yeah.
0:47:27 – Sally
Because I believe that I believe if everything’s like really good and we’re really happy and we sort of settle too much into the comfort zone, then the universe will like slap us with a fish or something. So it’s like no, don’t do that.
0:47:40 – Amanda
Oh, so true. I’m intrigued I’m really intrigued, to hear what this is all about. Wow, it’s going to be amazing. So thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing all about using your voice, how powerful it is, and sharing all about your journey as well. I know I’ve certainly received so much from this. I’m going to go back and re-list them and I’m going to go through and do that Audit as well, because I know that there’s a lot of other areas I personally can work on, so I can’t like to share that. Where can we find you online? Where do you like to hang out? I know you’ve got your own podcast as well. Where can people find you?
0:48:17 – Sally
Yes, my podcast is called that Voice Podcast and I am not an international woman of mystery. I’m on pretty much all the platforms. Instagram’s probably the best place to get me on the DM, so that’s at Sally Prosa Voice. I’m also on TikTok and LinkedIn. I would really love to hear from you so often. I’m sure, amanda, you agree you put out this podcast content and I love so much when I get a message to say that someone has listened. And also, if you’d like the business voice audit, then just let me know because I’ll have to email that directly to you.
0:48:53 – Amanda
Yes, oh, you’re so right. Often podcasting is just one way, and having someone give you that feedback or a sent message from me or I really love when you were talking about that, if you just means so much to us. So please do reach out to Sal how you found this episode. Tell me how you found this episode, so we’d like to hear from you. Incredible. Thank you again for the bottom of my heart, sal, for coming on here sharing all of your wisdom, and I can’t wait to get this out into the world, because I know they’re going to love it.
0:49:23 – Sally
Oh, thank you so much for having me, and if you are feeling like you’ve got something to say and you really want to get your voice out there, but the nerves are getting the better of you, you don’t know what to say, then please reach out, because there is so much help available, and I love working with luminary women, so this is my favorite audience.