with Tilly Storm
Who would have thought a better sex life could benefit your business?
In this episode, we’re joined by the incredible Tilly Storm, a somatic sex and intimacy coach, who is here to break down the barriers and leave you screaming for more!
Tilly combines the potent forces of somatic healing, psychotherapy, and a diverse range of coaching modalities to empower high-achieving women. Her mission? To help them unlock pleasure not only in the bedroom but also in every aspect of their lives.
We chatted about:
- How blocks in your sexual flow are blocking your creativity and your ability to make money.
- The way in which sexuality is the greatest form of personal development.
- How the weight of fear, guilt, shame, and disgust around our bodies spills over into our business.
- How having more orgasms can benefit our health and lead to a more regulated nervous system.
- Being an advocate for your own pleasure in your business.
- Creating a jade egg practice that invokes mindfulness, presence and other pleasurable “side effects”.
Join us as we get real and raw and start breaking down the barriers to fully embracing our sexuality.
Episode Resources:
Five Days to Epic Sex and Pleasure for High Achieving Women training
Bio:
As a somatic sex and intimacy coach and the magnetic host of The Multiorgasmic Millionaire Podcast, Tilly has been captivating audiences since 2017 with her unique blend of wisdom, Southern sass, and unapologetic authenticity. With over 330,000 devoted listeners and counting, she’s garnered recognition as one of the top 20 sex coaches worldwide, acknowledged by the esteemed Coach Foundation.
Drawing inspiration from the timeless arts of Taoism and Tantra, Tilly weaves a tapestry of transformational tools and techniques that transcend the ordinary. She combines the power of somatic healing, psychotherapy, and a diverse array of coaching modalities to empower high achieving women in unlocking pleasure in the bedroom and beyond.
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You can connect with Tilly:
Website: https://www.tillystorm.com
Podcast: The Multiorgasmic Millionaire
Instagram: @tilly.storm
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Amanda xo
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Transcript
Amanda: Tilly, I am so excited to have you on the Feminine Luminary Podcast. Because when we first connected, I was invited to your feminine leadership summit, which was an absolutely incredible event.
And what I got to see from you is just how incredible a woman that you are. You’re this real leader in this space, because you’re constantly pushing the boundaries. You’re pushing the edges and we’ll get to really delve into what that’s all about in our conversation today. We were talking just before we came on is that.
What you do is a little bit different to the type of guests that I normally have on the show. And that is a good thing. That is a good thing because we need to be having more of these conversations and I can’t wait to dive into all the goodness. So welcome to the show.
[00:01:30] Tilly: Yeah. Thank you so much for having me.
I’m very excited to be here.
[00:01:35] Amanda: And before we actually do get into all of that, one question that I ask all of my guests, and I’d love to hear it from yourself. What makes you and your work luminary?
[00:01:44] Tilly: Luminary? Well, I think what I do helps women get in touch with the aliveness inside of them, which can only increase their radiance and make them more luminous.
Obviously [00:02:00]
it all starts from within. And
when we actually get in touch with that, we are able to bring that out into the outside world from the internal to the external. So I love that answer and what you do as well. So tell me a little bit more about your background. I mean, your journey to becoming a somatic sex coach and intimacy coach is quite unique.
Like how did you make sure to discover your passion for this particular field and what inspired you to blend the Taoism, the Tantra and the coaching modalities as well?
Yeah, I grew up very southern Baptist and a very religious home and the south and the United States. And I had my children very young.
I was, well, I mean, I guess it’s not too young, but I had my first one. I was 23. I actually opted into having a unassisted home birth. I had actually went to school to be an obgyn. I did rotations in a hospital with an anesthesiologist. I saw so many women who had c sections and I knew at that point if I, if and when I ever had kids, I would never, ever, ever do it that way.
So I. I had the very conscious decision to have an unassisted home birth. And it kind of set me on a trajectory that rocked my entire world. So I’m 23 years old. I have a very, very fast, what’s called a precipitous labor, meaning that it was under four hours. I was only in labor two and a half hours.
And literally in that, in that birth experience, everything I’ve been taught about my body, about pleasure was just. Gone out the window. I had a very amazing experience and empowering experience and it set me on a trajectory of really questioning everything I’ve been taught to believe growing up about the body and about pleasure and sex.
And I didn’t really. Dive into those topics specifically until a couple of years later after my second one was born and I had started working in a birth center as a doula [00:04:00] and midwife apprentice. Instead, I decided that OBGYN was not the route for me. So working in a birth center, I noticed how many women were struggling with sexuality after having children.
And I had also kind of been on my own journey of feeling really uncomfortable in my body after having kids having saggy boobs, you know, and like, just not wanting to have sex without a shirt on, you know, like all of the things. And I had started to work with a tantra teacher and everything kind of changed from there on.
And being in the birth center, seeing how many women struggled with this was what really got me fascinated with potentially doing this as a career. I was like, yep, this is what I’m here to do with my life. Being a midwife and a doula, it’s great, but it’s not quite the thing that. I was here to do. So I signed up and did a sex, love and relationship coaching training, and I’ve been doing that since 2016.
And here we are. Yes. I love that.
[00:05:03] Amanda: And you’re so right. When we are growing up, what we’re taught in school, what we’ve taught about our bodies, even. And I’m going to use this as a big generalization for most women, we aren’t having those conversations or we weren’t having those conversations with our family.
It was just something that was kind of like, these things happen to you, but we don’t talk about them. And what I am really conscious of as a, as a mother myself now is. Having these age appropriate conversations with my daughter, and I’m not saying I’m going out and telling her everything all at once because again, that’s not appropriate for where she is, but it’s just about dropping these little seeds and planting these little ideas because our bodies are something to be celebrated.
They’re not something to be hidden away in. When we talk about sexuality and sex and pleasure, these are not shameful things. They are simply just part of who we are. And I think we have to embrace them and bring them into all of ourselves. It makes [00:06:00] such a difference. We don’t feel that sense of shame. We can talk about it openly.
And I think that when we do get to talk about things openly, all of a sudden, there’s, there is just. So much more potential for connection with people for really unlocking our power for stepping into our wholeness, rather than it just being this part of us that is locked away and, and no one talks about it.
It’s too taboo to mention that. So I really love the fact that you went down the path of going to the very clinical side of things and they went, you know what, this just isn’t for me. I want to actually really empower women and. Allow them to be all of themselves. So I am, I’m
[00:06:40] Tilly: so glad
[00:06:40] Amanda: that you were doing that.
And you talked about when you first got into this, it was really about coaching women in their sexuality. And what I really want to talk about is how does this then weave into entrepreneurship? I know. Many people in the business world might view their sexuality and business as being completely separate things.
I don’t want to integrate that into the professional lives, but how does it go when you actually start exploring and embracing your sexuality actively? How does that contribute to your enhanced energy, your creativity, and your success in the entrepreneurial world?
[00:07:12] Tilly: Yeah. Well, how you feel in your body, what you think of your body, how you feel living and your body affects absolutely everything that you do.
I like to say that sexuality, working on your sexuality, diving into it, uncovering what’s underneath all of the fear, guilt, shame, disgust about a lot of us carry around our bodies and our sex. When we dive into that stuff, it’s literally the greatest path to self development. And. Growth that you could possibly be on because it pushes up all of your deep, dark shit, all of the wounds that you carry.
Many of them are related to your sexuality and one way or another. So how does it relate to. How you’re showing up in business. It’s very clear. And to me, it’s [00:08:00] extremely intuitive and makes sense. And I think it does for most people when they actually start to think about it. Cause they’re like, Oh my God, that makes so much sense.
But entrepreneurship, it ain’t easy. As you know, it takes a lot of energy to do all of the things at first, especially when you’re first starting your business and you don’t have any employees to delegate to yet, it takes so much creative energy and life energy and. I work with a lot of women who lack sexual desire, who lack like this, they’re shut down that creative force.
They don’t know where it went. A lot of them are in like some transition of like, I’ve been working in this corporate job or like I’ve been doing this thing for so long, but I hate it. And I know that there’s more for me, but they don’t know what it is. All of that comes down to unblocking their sexual flow.
It comes to unblocking them from whatever is Creating that blockage to the creativity itself. That’s keeping them disconnected from what they even want. So for business and an entrepreneurship,
you are the most successful when you have access to your sexual energy and it’s flowing freely through your life and there aren’t.
apparent blocks
[00:09:13] Tilly: from growing up or early messages you got or traumas you’ve experienced,
because that will put a kink in the flow and your ability to receive money and make money.
[00:09:25] Tilly: Yes, absolutely.
[00:09:27] Amanda: And I’m just thinking back to myself and my own corporate career. There’s been so many instances where, well, first of all, it wasn’t considered professional to be overtly sexual.
And when you were someone that is, for me, I was growing up, I had large breasts, and it was something that would always be, not necessarily intentionally on show, but it was always something that you could see as part of my silhouette. I remember being pulled into the office of one of my directors at the time, and he was saying, I’ve had a complaint from one of the, the employees.
He thought what you were wearing is inappropriate. Like what? [00:10:00] It wasn’t inappropriate at all. It was simply just because I had larger breasts that my silhouette looked more. It was more prominent than someone who was had smaller breasts and that’s all it was. And for me, from then on, it always stuck in my mind that I can’t be all of myself because there’s someone else that doesn’t believe that there’s someone else that they think that I’m too much for.
And so that then just went into playing to, okay, I’ve got to make myself smaller. And it’s just these things that happen to us. Us that are carried through. And then when we shift from being in the corporate world to all of a sudden being in our own business, and we don’t have any of these rules, we get to be all of ourselves.
We get to be whoever we want. If we don’t actually do that work and start to unlock those traumas and start to clear those blocks, they are going to continue to show up in the work that we do now. And I remember personally, when I did start delving into this whole realm and really just owning all of me.
It was just so freeing, so, so freeing to go, you know what, that was them. That was a projection of what was going on for them. It’s nothing to do with me. I get to be whoever I want, bring whatever I want to my work. I’m not going to have someone from HR going, Amanda, you can’t be doing that.
And so what I really love is the fact that you are this advocate for really unlocking pleasure and tapping into the sensuality and sexuality. And these elements, they really help to contribute to a female entrepreneur’s ability to lead and inspire and make a meaningful impact. And I’d love for you to speak into that just a little bit more as well around how we can actually then do that when we start to embrace these things, how they can allow us to make more of a meaningful impact in the world.
[00:11:42] Tilly: Yeah, that’s a great question. When you’re in touch with your sexuality, you’re confident it’s really that simple. When you’re not, you’ll lack confidence. And how can you be a really great leader if you don’t have confidence and you don’t know how to stand in your body and feel great. And [00:12:00] it’s, it comes off as disembodied.
It comes off as like, you know, you trying to fit in a masculine world when you’re clearly not of that predominant. Polarity, right? It, it comes off as fake. It comes off as an authentic. You can smell it a freaking mile away and corporate women who are disconnected from it. You can see it, you can sense it with your energy.
You can sense their, their disconnected. And honestly, I think women who are connected to their sensuality and their sexuality make the greatest leaders because they lead with a confidence and a sense of true, authentic. Connection of, like, being an embodied person and not having all of these blocks and these traumas and these obstacles that keep them from expressing their truth, that keep them from being real with people, that keep them from being vulnerable and open about what’s actually going on.
And then, you know, the opposite of that is masking. Trying to put on a show or like try and be a leader, even though you don’t feel really confident in that role. You know, so it’s like two opposite things when you’re connected to sexuality and your sensuality, you are owning all parts of yourself.
Recognize your wholeness. So you’re showing up as a whole person, not as someone who has to compartmentalize parts of herself to try and fit up. Definitely. It’s
[00:13:19] Amanda: that false sense of power, isn’t it? Where being in the wounded masculine, you as a female, you really are trying to control. Is this overt control that you’re trying to impose upon other people rather than really, truly standing in your power and doing them from a way that is quite gentle.
That is really. All encompassing that is passionate, that is going to be empathetic because a lot of these traits that we look at, they are traditionally seen as being weak, but when we are really, truly standing in our feminine power, we get to bring all of these aspects into ourself and really be from a way that is going to be so much more inclusive and to get so much more from our community, our [00:14:00] audience, the people around us to help our clients and.
Just to be able to bring the essence of the other people out as well, rather than just, I am dominating. I’m controlling. I’m going to tell you what to do. There is a big
[00:14:13] Tilly: difference. Yeah. Yeah. And it can also be very manipulative women who are really disconnected, disconnected from their divine feminine, their.
Their natural feminine essence there’s definitely this sense of distrust with them because again, the energy isn’t there and it can be very, very manipulative. I think of like, did you ever see the Netflix show on what’s the lady’s name? She created this company and she was one of the first like female self made billionaires or something crazy like that.
And her company completely like obliterated. She ended up with all sorts of lawsuits against her, but you know, she was one of the first female CEOs that. Was like a billion dollar corporation that was, she was running and this company just completely went under because she wasn’t showing up authentic.
She wasn’t showing up in integrity. She’s doing lots of masking, lots of like leading the way she thought she had to, because that’s what she saw all the men. doing. So that’s what I’m saying. Like the way that men are operating and leading, it might work for them. But if you’re going to be a female leader, like you’ve got to adopt different principles because we lead in a different way.
And we can lead an authentic way. That’s true to who we are. That’s just different than how men are doing it. I
[00:15:37] Amanda: think this is sometimes one of the things that A lot of female leaders do struggle with because they haven’t really seen too many people going before them. And in this example, I haven’t seen the Netflix documentary or movie, so I’m not too sure who you’re talking about there.
But in this example, what it really sounds like is she’s simply mirroring what she sees around her. She thinks this is the way that we need to do things. And when we look at it as [00:16:00] female entrepreneurs. We are starting to see some really incredible leaders standing up now, and so we get to have beautiful people to actually see who’s done it and not necessarily pedestal them or try and copy them or anything like that, but to use them as inspiration, how we can sharp all of our authenticity in our feminine way and really get to bring all that into the way that we lead because copying the masculine.
Does not work. It may work on short term, but all of a sudden it’s like a house of cards. It will come crashing down very, very soon when people start to see through it. You can’t keep it up. It’s not good for you. It’s not good for your clients. It’s not for your business.
[00:16:41] Tilly: There’s better ways. There’s better ways.
Exactly. And so
[00:16:46] Amanda: when we are talking about empowering leadership through this idea of self exploration. I know one of the things you’d often speak about is this unlocking pleasure beyond the bedroom. So can you elaborate like, what does that actually mean and how can we apply that concept into our business?
[00:17:01] Tilly: Well, again, if you don’t have access to pleasure sexually. Like the same principles that allow you access to pleasure and the bedroom are the same principles that allow you access to pleasure in a day to day life. And then this is the one thing that keeps anyone and everyone on a pleasure in the present moment, being in your head, being in your head, not knowing how to get in your body, how to listen to your intuition, your instinct, not trusting it, being in your head, having all of the thoughts.
So. This is why sexuality training can be such a powerful tool to teach you to experience more pleasure and presence with your partner, not just in a sexual situation, but even with your kids, like people will come to me all the time and they’ll literally sign up. For my program, even though they don’t even really have anything sexually, that’s like inherently terrible or, you know but they’ll sign up to work with me just because they want to know how [00:18:00] to be present with their kids.
So they can actually sit there and play with their kids without thinking about all of the dishes that needed to be done or the clothes that are still on a pile on the floor, right? Because they don’t know how to stop. Thinking about all those things and just be present and enjoy themselves. So everything that I teach them in terms of these are the things that you get to learn to stop those thoughts.
All pleasure. What happens is when you are really connected to your body, to the present moment and, and this moment, right? So when you’re out of pleasure, it’s because you’re in fight, flight, freeze, fun, you’re in the past or in the future, you’re not here right now. So the same things that I teach them to experience pleasure in a bedroom is.
It’s exactly the same things that are really necessary to experience pleasure outside. So it doesn’t matter the context. It’s the same principle. It is all about
[00:19:02] Amanda: being in the body, being in the present moment, which it translates to so many different areas of our lives. And it sounds so simple, but it is something that a lot of people do struggle with.
What’s a very simple practice that maybe we can start doing or to really to start integrating pleasure into our lives? Where can someone start? Yeah.
[00:19:21] Tilly: Well, I mean, a lot of people who are struggling with getting out of their head, they don’t have the tools to get out of it.
Okay. So obviously meditation helps for a lot of people that doesn’t work. If meditation doesn’t work, breath work generally does. So usually one of those two tools is really going to support you to learn to get out of your thoughts and to be, you know, to slip into the present moment. But for me, one of the first tools that I teach people is sensate focus through a body meditation, which is so simple.
It’s literally setting your timer for five minutes. [00:20:00] Lying on the floor and speaking sensations that you feel in your body and where you feel them for five minutes. It’s so simple, but when you’re done after five minutes of sitting, like, I’ll give you an example right now. Like, I feel the weight of my eyelids on my eyes.
I feel the breeze from the fan next to me on my shoulder. I feel a coolness in my legs. So like I’m just sitting here stating sensations and where I feel them. When you do that for five minutes, your brain starts to turn off because you’re giving your job the brain of like looking for what you’re actually feeling in your body, which puts you in the present moment.
So it since a focus gives you this ability to be very present. And the here and now, but it also, you know, you can take it a step further and tell your brain, okay, like, let’s look for the sensations that we feel in our pelvic area. Right? So if we’re bringing it to a sexual context, you’re noticing, okay, what am I feeling in my vagina right now?
What am I feeling my pelvis right now? So you see how you can take that same Practice apply it to something sexual or vice versa, right? You can take the sexual practice and apply it to just overall. What am I feeling in my body? And bring like that being a source of being able to connect and get present and be like right here right now.
Does that make sense? Yes, it
[00:21:27] Amanda: does. And I love the way that you talked about how we can either use this from a sexual perspective, or it can be something that is purely justified to life as well. Because I think so often when. People think of this work. One of the misconceptions is that, oh, it’s very sexual.
It’s going to be very devious. How can we talk about it in terms of our kids? It’s not, it’s about being present in the moment and really tuning into the sensations in our body and being all of ourselves and being able to bring that to the world around us as well. So it’s not [00:22:00] something that is seen as devious by a lot of people.
It’s something that can be a really, really beautiful thing. So I’d love for you to talk about. What you’ve come across maybe as some of the misconceptions or roadblocks when we’re talking about trying to integrate this sexuality into our professional lives, how can we actually overcome these challenges?
[00:22:20] Tilly: Well. I mean, again, it goes back to the wholeness piece. If you’re leaving out a whole fundamental part of your reality and existence, if you’re leaving that off the table, how, like, how is that affecting you? I don’t know. A lot of people never even thought of that.
That’s for a lot of you listening, but like, wait. That’s a good question. Never thought of that. Right. So just think about that. Like, do you feel disconnected from your body? The way our society works and the way that we live these days, most of us are walking epitomes of being disconnected from our bodies.
Why do you think the pharmaceutical medical industry are doing so well right now? Right? Because we’re all disconnected. So, you know, if that wasn’t the case, we would know when something’s wrong, we would know when something’s off before we needed to even go see a doctor about it. We would know and our, we would adjust our food because we would be so more, so much more connected to what we were craving.
That was actually the medicine that we needed right now. So. Again, it comes back to like, you’re leaving out this whole piece of your reality and how you’re showing up as a leader and as a woman and an entrepreneur people feel it. They know it. And eventually it leads to burnout, overwhelm, and stress.
So if you’re not connected to your pleasure at all, then you’re on a fast track to burnout. And. I’ve experienced it myself. I’m not immune to it. So, I mean, I know what that’s like, but you’ve got to be so, you’ve got to be more committed to your pleasure than to the old ways of doing things. I mean, I took a huge step back on [00:24:00] my business last year because I was so committed to what I wanted and what I wanted to create for myself and my business that I was willing to give everything up.
Everything, I was willing to give it all up and it was a commitment to my pleasure. And that’s what I mean by like, as a woman, sometimes we’ll have life setbacks or whatever, but when we’re so committed to the thing that brings us pleasure and joy, like eventually the universe conforms to that, because for me, there’s no other way.
It’s not even a question. Like. Yeah, sure. I’ll give up everything. I don’t freaking care because I know that it’s going to come back. It’s going to come back when it’s the right time. It’s going to come back in the right way and the perfect way. And I trust that. And I am not willing to live a life of doing all the things all the time, submitting myself to that old way and burning myself out anymore, like not doing it.
It’s not worth it. So, yeah, I mean, no one’s immune to that, but because I am so committed to creating content. A life of pleasure for myself and my family. I’m, I’m willing to do whatever it takes. And I think that if we all showed up that way we would make huge waves. We would make huge changes in how we do business and how we show up as entrepreneurs, but I think a lot of people aren’t willing to do that because they’re not even connected to their pleasure in the first place.
[00:25:21] Amanda: I feel that so deeply. I’ve just gone through a process myself of exactly the same thing where I’d been away and it was fine when I was on holiday. I came back and I was like, you know what, this old way of doing things really just doesn’t sit well for me anymore. And what is it? What I had to really connect my body and think, okay, what, what is it that I’m lacking here?
And you’re spot on. When we talk about joy and pleasure, it really is this sense of aliveness that we have this sense of vitality. And if we aren’t focusing on this. It is going to lead to burnout. And so I was the same as yourself. It’s like, okay, well, I’m just going to hit pause and everything just for a very short period of time, because I need to actually get to the core of what that is, [00:26:00] what is it that I can do to really allow myself to feel that pleasure again.
And so it’s about digging and observing and go, okay, well, what can I tweak? What can I change? Because if I’m simply just going through the grind, I can feel it. It’s no fun. My family can feel it. My clients can feel it. And. It’s going to lead to me burning out. My client’s not going to want to work with me.
And if all of those things just aren’t working for me, then kind of, what’s the point? Why are we doing this? Life gets to be. It gets to be pleasure filled and we are the ones that get to decide that. So I love the fact that when we really do start tapping into our body and to our aliveness, into our sensuality, all of it just starts to feel so juicy and good within us, and it gets to create that life that it really is just so magical.
And I, I kind of feel a little bit guilty sometimes. I’m not, not guilty, but just. I feel I am almost in this bubble of pleasure, in a sense, people who aren’t actually doing this work. And I’m like, you are missing out. You really are
[00:27:08] Tilly: missing out. Yeah. And a lot of that is because we’re trained to make others responsible for our pleasure.
I mean, if you look at every Hollywood film out there, every one of them is like. Oh, save me. You know, like, you know what to do. And we have this crazy thing and, and our society with people who are dating, trying to find a partner or whatever that, Oh my God, like, well, if he doesn’t know what to do, you know, and he can’t read my mind, then I guess we’re not meant to, that’s a whole nother story.
We’re not going to go there, but I can go on. We need to show them. Exactly. But we’re trained and conditioned to make other people responsible for our pleasure. Almost every woman I’ve ever talked to, and I’ve done over like a thousand discovery calls by now. Okay. But it was [00:28:00] wild. So almost every woman I talked to, I don’t know what I want.
I don’t know what I like sexually. How in the world do I ask for it? Like, I’m so afraid to even say what I want, what I like, blah, blah, blah. But at the same time, like, why can’t he figure it out? And then they hold resentment about it because, you know, he, he’s not doing the thing that I want in life, but I don’t even know what that is.
Right. So it’s kind of like this medic, this thing that is, is it a
[00:28:24] Amanda: case of. They deep down, they do know, but they’re too afraid to ask because again, the conditioning and what being told, we can’t say that. Oh, my gosh. How dare we ask for what we want,
[00:28:35] Tilly: right? No, it’s both. So it’s like a 50 50. So disconnected.
They’ve never explored their sexuality. They’ve never self pleasured. I’ve worked with many couples who they’re literally their only partner. They’ve been together since they were 15, 20 thing, you know, and they’ve been together 20, 30 years now. And they’re like we don’t really have a sex life because we don’t even know what to do thing.
So there’s definitely people in that boat, but there’s definitely people who know, and they they’ve experimented, they’ve self pleasured, you know, they know what they want and like, but they have guilt and shame around it, especially when it comes to our kinky desires or things that might be more taboo.
That’s definitely a thing. So, yeah, but I mean, What I was saying is that we tend to make other people responsible for our pleasure. No one is going to take a stand for your pleasure, but you. No one. So if you have a partner that does. Take a stand for your pleasure every now and then I’ll get men who reach out to me and they’re like, can you please work with my wife?
And I’m like, no, because she’s not the one asking to work with me, you know, so we do have amazing men who really want to support their partner to. Help her take a stand for her pleasure, but at the end of the day, it is up to you, whether that is in the bedroom, whether that is in your business, like no one is going to shake you and say, your business needs to be pleasurable, right?[00:30:00]
No one’s advocating for that for you. You have to do that for yourself. And until you know, and understand and feel that you are fully worthy of a life of. Pleasure and worthy of having a business that you’re running in a pleasurable way that isn’t leading to burnout stress and overwhelm, then you’re not going to create it for yourself.
And ain’t nobody going to do it for you. So, yeah, you’re, you’re the only one who can take that stand and create that.
[00:30:25] Amanda: Having someone else being responsible for it, it’s outsourcing your power. And when we start to outsource our power, whether it be sexually, it’s a slippery slope, because all of a sudden we start to be in other areas of our lives as well.
And when we’re talking about business. Really, we want to be the ones that are claiming our power. We want to be the ones that are determining our self worth. We want to be determining our boundaries, determining everything that it is that we stand for. Because when we get to do that, that really is what true leadership is about.
And that’s what is what going, is going to actually power our businesses forward. If we’re simply just. Relying on our coach to tell us what to do, or we’re waiting on others to come to us all the time.
[00:31:08] Tilly: It’s not, you know, if you’re doing that, you’re not making any money.
[00:31:12] Amanda: Yeah, it comes from within. It’s all, all the importance of doing that inner work. And it’s not the sexy kind of thing, the inner work, but it’s something that is so necessary in business life. Everything needs to be done. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Back to sensuality and sexuality, if you are someone that is just starting to explore this, what is something that they can do?
I know one of the things you talk about is a jade egg practice. Are you able to explain that a little bit more for someone who hasn’t maybe really heard of a jade egg or how to actually use them? How can you actually incorporate this in and how is that going to then help you? Enjoy more pleasure and bring that board into your business and life and everything else.
[00:31:55] Tilly: Yeah. Well, the jade egg does find out it’s like yoga for your [00:32:00] vagina. So I feel like jade egg, it’s J A D E egg or a yoni egg, as you might also hear it. said it is literally an egg shaped stone that you put in your vagina and you do different squeezes and releases and breathwork practices with it to help with the synthetic focus.
Like I was telling you about earlier, because we’re trained and conditioned from very early on to disconnect from our body, especially down there. I mean, I hear it so many times of, you know, Oh, I was six and my mom caught me touching myself and then I never wanted to do it again. Like that. I’ve heard that story hundreds of times.
So if that was you, for example, then you create a story in your unconscious mindset, touching yourself and feeling pleasure might not be that safe. You know we might get bussed at, we are going to get shamed, right? And then we develop this shame and disconnection from ourselves around our sexuality.
So when we do and have a jade egg practice, it gives you a very physical connection to, okay, hey, this is an important part of our body. Like we may have been shamed for it when we were young, we may have experienced trauma that made us not want to connect to this when we were young. And at the same time, We’re grown ass women now, and, you know, if we want to create that reconnection, then having a regular self pleasure practice, you know, learning the basics of the jade egg practice can be so empowering to help you reconnect with this part of you that you have felt disconnected from for a long time.
So. While it might sound a little out there I’ve definitely worked with physicians. I’ve worked with lawyers who came back and told me like, Tilly, I thought you were insane. I can’t believe I did this. I I’ve literally had people on sales calls that, you know, of this caliber, like physicians who’ve been like, I cannot believe I’m about to give you this amount of money for you to show me how [00:34:00] to do this, but I trust you.
Because I, I’ve heard your clients talk about it and I’m open to trying whatever it takes, right? So while it might seem a little like, what the heck it, the jade egg has a very, very powerful way of helping. You, so some side effects of it are really increased wetness. If you’ve gone through menopause, you know I have not personally gone through it, but most people are, you know, they find vaginal dryness is a problem better orgasms, like way more intense, longer lasting orgasms from a simple jade egg practice a couple of times a week increased energy.
And desire for sex in the first place and increased connection to your body experiencing more self love towards your body and not judging it so much. So these are just some of the side effects of the jade egg. So it’s such a powerful practice to help you not only just reconnect with your body in a really holistic way.
But also to have these amazing benefits like better, longer lasting orgasms, different types of orgasms. So. You know, if you’ve ever heard of cervical or G spot or a spot orgasms, like a lot of women really want those experiences, but they’ve, they haven’t had them or they don’t know how to train their body to have them.
So the jade egg can be a really powerful way to awaken the inside of the vagina to be able to have more pleasurable experiences. And the more pleasure we have, the more oxytocin runs through our body and the more relaxed and calm we can be. So that’s a beautiful thing.
[00:35:36] Amanda: I love all those side effects. One of the things when we say side effects is this connotation that we have in our minds that they’re these negative things.
And what you’re talking about there, they’re absolutely beautiful. There are things that really, I think most women are desiring, even if they’re not overtly saying that to have something as a side effect in inverted commas of something that is such a seemingly simple practice. [00:36:00] It’s just incredible because it flows over into all areas of your life, the oxytocin, the feeling good, the calm, the nervous system, just feeling good and juicy.
It is felt everywhere. So I love, love, love that. Yeah.
[00:36:15] Tilly: And I say side effects because it really was a practice designed to help the ancient courtesans of China to feel really like alive sexually post menopause. So it was actually a practice that was really designed to help women maintain a level of sexual.
Prowess, the level of sexual vitality and aliveness, even through their older years. So it was for the Taoist who created this practice. It was never really about like, Oh, let’s, let’s teach you how to have amazing orgasms, right? That’s why I say a side effect of it because the practice is really about to them, sexual energy is very much a part of being healthy.
So. It was more about a health thing, like they believe you can’t be healthy and really like do the work you’re here to do in the world. If you’re not right with your sexual energy, which is mind blowing to our Western minds because we don’t get taught that. And today a Christian. Religion, right? But they have a completely different view of it.
Like, no, we want your sexuality to be alive and awakened. And we want you to be in touch with that because it blocks the flow of chi and your body. So when you’re right with your sexual energy and it’s awakened and alive, then great. You’re healthy because then you don’t get things like polycystic ovaries.
You don’t have fibroids and all of these other things that’s stuck in stagnant energy in your pelvis that gets created when we have blockages. So that’s why I say it’s a side effect because it was really about like a health thing for them.
[00:37:50] Amanda: Yeah. Oh my God. That history is incredible. I had no idea that that’s what it was created for.
And there’s. Two things that really jumped out to me about that. First of all, is what you touched on there as [00:38:00] the energy of things. And just, even if maybe you’re listening to this and thinking, okay, I’m not quite there in terms of really embracing my sensuality yet. Maybe look at it from the health benefits side of things.
The fact that we don’t have those energetic blockages. We have got that energy flowing throughout us. And so it becomes become more of a spiritual practice, which is sometimes the. entryway into doing some of this work. And the other thing that you touched on was also around really being designed for when women were hitting that menopause phase.
And so often when we talk about sensuality and sexuality, it really is. In Hollywood, and I’m going to say in West, very Westernized is looking at the younger women who are the traditional sense of beauty and less about those women who are older. They’re hitting in their in menopause and they are in that older phase of life.
And I think that is just so beautiful that that was really their design and their intention behind it. It was because women at that age and that stage of life. They shouldn’t be forgotten. They have so much wisdom and they can be absolutely beautiful and sensual and sexual and all of these things as well as not purely reserved for someone who is at their, their younger years.
So, oh, that is incredible. Thank you so much for sharing that history. That was just amazing to hear.
[00:39:21] Tilly: Yeah, second spring, second spring in the Dallas tradition. So
it’s a rebirth.
[00:39:28] Amanda: Oh, amazing. So
tell me, what is it that you’re working on at the moment? I’d love to hear if there’s any, any particular programs or any opt ins or anything like that. You’d love to share with this community.
Yeah, I
[00:39:40] Tilly: have an amazing five day audio training. It’s called Five Days to Epic Sex and Pleasure for High Achieving Women training.
It’s really geared to women who lack energy, who lacks sexual desire, who don’t want to initiate, or who just don’t experience a lot of pleasure in a sexual situation. So again, even if your goal [00:40:00] isn’t about like having better sex. Again, I want to invite you to open your mind about what’s possible because when you dive into this stuff, if you experience any things, I just said that is affecting your business.
You might not quite get it. It might not quite make sense yet, but download the training and you might start to. Connect the dots.
It’s all
[00:40:21] Amanda: interconnected. Love it. And where can we find you on socials podcasts? Where can we, where do you like to hang out?
Yeah, please go follow my podcast. It’s called the multi orgasmic millionaire.
I am not active on social media because they don’t like what I do. So I’ve had many accounts blocked, banned and deleted. So just go find me on the podcast. And that’s the best way to connect with me there.
And your message needs to get out there. So put custody as people absolutely love it. It is an incredible podcast.
I had to jump in there and take a listen. Oh, it’s been an absolute pleasure having you on the show. I’ve loved diving into this, this topic. It’s just, it’s so juicy. It’s so orgasmic. There is just so much in here and I’ve loved having you here and sharing your wisdom.
So thank you so much.
[00:41:09] Tilly: Thank you for having me.
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