Get Out of Your Head: My Top 5 Mindset Shifts

July 4, 2023

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Feminine Luminary

Hi, I'm Amanda

Feminine leader, spiritual and personal development lover, adventure-seeker & mother helping other women tap into their inner authority and reclaim their true essence!

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Uncover the deepest, darkest source of your self-sabotage in only 10 minutes.

Self-Sabotage

Slay the

in 10 Minutes

We all possess an innate wisdom that longs to be expressed… but sometimes we find ourselves trapped in our own heads, blocking access and succumbing to panic.

In this episode, we embark on a beautiful journey of remembrance and coming home to our truth. Join me as we delve deep into the top 5 mindset shifts that have transformed my own coaching journey, empowering you to shed distractions, amplify your impact, and propel your business forward in alignment with your authentic self.

Get ready to embrace these powerful insights:

  • Discover the hidden gifts of failure and how it can propel your business forward when approached with the right mindset.
  • How firm and loving boundaries can liberate you from 90% of the emergencies that arise in your business.
  • Embrace the perfection of your own unique timeline, releasing the pressures of comparison and honoring your personal growth and success.
  • Embrace the liberating truth that changing your mind in business can be a positive sign of growth and evolution.
  • Learn why integrating your core values into your business is essential for creating a truly fulfilling and purpose-driven entrepreneurial journey.

Get ready to feel a little freer as we peel away the layers of doubt and embrace the mindset shifts that will unlock your full potential. 

Listen Here

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/feminine-luminary/episodes/Get-Out-of-Your-Head-My-Top-5-Mindset-Shifts-e26fql9

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Big love,

Amanda xo

P.S. If you loved this episode, please review and share with another feminine luminary who needs to hear this!


Transcript

Hello, my love and welcome to another episode of Feminine Luminary. I am so excited to be talking to you about this one because, oh, it just, it feels like such a permission slip, these five mindset shifts that I’ve realized throughout my own entrepreneurial journey, and they’ve certainly taken me a time to get to here.

And one of the most beautiful things about being on this path of personal development and growth is that, We are still remembering these things. There are times when I get caught up in my head and I’m like, you know what, Amanda? Just settle down. These are one of the things that you know, and it’s just this remembrance that we have to come back to.

And so what I wanted to dive into today is these five mindset shifts to help you get out of your head, back into your body, and really help to keep your business moving forward in a way that just feels nourishing for your soul. Because when we don’t, when we are sitting in our head, we are actually slowing down our growth.

We are slowing down our business and it’s keeping us stuck. This is so often where we talk about hitting an internal glass ceiling because you’re getting in your head and I’m going to help you get out of it. So why do we need to get out of our head? Well, quite simply put energy flows where attention goes.

So everything is all energy. I’ve talked about this in a previous episode. [00:02:00] Everything in the universe is energy. And so when we are focusing on something, when it is taking our attention, it’s distracting you from your mission. You could have a huge mission. You might have an incredible vision. We, here you are desiring to create immense impact and to really create change.

But if you are focused and if you were caught up on something so minutely small in the scheme of things, it is still taking your attention. It’s still watering down your potency and all of a sudden you are not showing up the way that you believe you should be. You are not showing up the way that you want to.

You are not being able to. Be there for your clients, be there for your community, and to really then have that full impact that you were desiring to create. So you want your energy to be the most potent that it can be. It’s also causing you to sit in your sympathetic nervous system. So this is causing you to feel dysregulated.

You’re going to be sitting in that sense of fight or flight. You’re not gonna be feeling relaxed, you’re not gonna be feeling calm. You’re gonna be feeling constantly on edge. And when you are, your body is not functioning correctly. You are not able to concentrate, which we talked about already. You’re not necessarily eating as you should, and if you’re not fueling and nourishing your body, then this is gonna have flow on effects as well.

It’s all, all interconnected. Everything is interconnected in your life, and so when your nervous system is sitting in this state of dysregulation, again, it’s watering down your impact. And I’m actually gonna go into another episode all about our nervous system and nurturing it and what we can do to make sure that we are looking after ourselves and to bring ourselves back to this state of homeostasis where we want to be.

Yes, we can be sitting in our sympathetic nervous system, so that fight or flight for short periods of time, but we always wanna come back. And if we’re sitting in our head too much, then potentially we are sitting in that dysregulated state for way too long. And when we’re talking about being in our [00:04:00] head, It’s very hard to be embodied.

So embodiment is really about residing in our body. But when we’re in our head, all of a sudden we’re sitting in our analytical mind. We are overanalyzing everything. And when you’re overanalyzing everything, you’re not listening to your intuition. You’re not listening to your feelings, to your gut. All of these different senses that are happening in our body, we are dulling them down.

And this is something that I did for a very long time. I was very much in my head. I was very much logical, analytical, and I believed that that was the way that we had to be. But when I then started dropping into this practice, this feminine embodiment, and really starting to feel into the essence of who I was, it started to light up all of these other parts of me. 

, and you probably heard that we have several brains in our body. It’s not purely just the one in our mind. We have a brain in our gut as well. And this is actually said to be more powerful than the one inside our head.

And so think about that. When you are not sitting in your body, when you are caught in your head, all of these other things that are there trying to work for us, you are essentially shutting them off. 

So let’s dive into some of the biggest mindset shifts that have been such a permission slip for me in my business. So the first one is that everything in business is an experiment. Woo. When I realized this one, it was such a relief. Now, I am someone that I would call myself a recovering perfectionist. I don’t believe I’ll ever be recovered, if you wanna say that.

There’s always going to be parts of me that do come back out and try to fall back into that perfectionism. But when I realized that failure is okay, You can fail, but you need to do it properly, and I’ll come to that in a moment. It’s okay to fail when I realize this, and when I stopped placing a finality on every single little thing I did, [00:06:00] it just felt so much better in my body.

Now you’ve probably seen the graph of the entrepreneurial journey. It’s not linear. We’ve seen memes. We’ve seen images floating on Instagram where it’s up and down, up and down, up and down, all over the place. And it’s so true. It is not linear. You are going to fail. And I think once we come to terms with that is okay, it is okay to fail in the right way, then we start to release some of that pressure.

Now, when I talk about failing in the right way, we wanna actually look at our failures as lessons. We want to extract the lesson from it. We don’t simply just want to wallow in it and say, oh, this failed. I’m no good, and have a pity party. Sure we can feel into our emotions. We can feel that for a time being, but once we’ve sat in it for a little while and we’ve been able to embody it, we need to integrate the lessons.

So this is what it’s all about. Trying something, having a willingness to fail If it doesn’t go well, okay, what’s the lesson in that? And so one of the things is when we’re trying to strive and not fail, It often means that we’re not pushing ourselves enough outside our comfort zone. You’re not willing to try new things.

Maybe you’re playing too small and if you’re playing too small because you’re afraid of failing, guess what? Your business and your growth is gonna stagnate. Everyone else is gonna be moving around you, and this is what we’re seeing so much in the current environment.

Those who are really moving forward in leaps and bounds are the ones who had that willingness to fail, are the ones who had the willingness to fall over, dust themselves, off, integrate the lesson, and get back up and try again. And so when we learned to actually embrace this mindset of growth and see everything in our business as an experiment, it provides us with so much more freedom to try things that maybe aren’t perfect.

To give things that a go that you don’t know if it’s gonna [00:08:00] work or not. And if it does, amazing. If it doesn’t, okay, how can I change this and try the experiment again? I mean, everything that I do in my business is an experiment. This podcast is an experiment. You’ll probably notice that there are different ways that I try and introduce episodes and how I bring them all together, and different styles that are being bring into it.

And this is because I’m experimenting to see what’s working well, what’s landing, what doesn’t feel good. And if it doesn’t, I change it up and try again. See it as an experiment, and your mind will be blown. The second mindset shift that has been astronomical in my business is realizing that you’re allowed to change your mind.

This is one of the big fears that I had, was that if I said something again, the answer is final. No, it’s not. We are allowed to change our minds. We are continually learning, we are continually growing, and as we do that, more information is coming to us.

We are having more experiences in life, our wisdom, our knowledge, everything is continuing to grow. And as we continue to grow and better ourselves, then obviously what we are putting out into the world will continue to shift with us as well. And so if we are so fixed on the fact that, no, I said this a year ago, I can’t change my mind again, that is hindering your growth.

So I understand that there’s this fear of judgment that people are going to look at what you’ve said before or listen to what you’ve maybe said on podcasts or Instagram or wherever it may be, in your content, in your courses. And you fear that if you change your thoughts that they’re no longer going to respect you.

I can understand that fear. That is certainly something that I had in the past as well, and I think the biggest thing that we can do here is acknowledge that we might change our minds. It may be a little bit, it may be a lot, [00:10:00] but by acknowledging that we are continuing to grow, it also then gives permission to our clients, our community, our audience, that they can do the same as we grow. We can change our mind. We can change ourselves to adapt to who we are becoming. We don’t need to stay stuck as who we were in our past. 

 The next mindset shift that I’ve just felt like. A breath of fresh air for me was there is no such thing as a business emergency. Oh, in my early days of entrepreneurship, I thought everything was an emergency. If I didn’t get back to you within 10 minutes of seeing your message, oh my gosh, what was she gonna think of me if I didn’t know the answer to something?

Quick, go and find the answer. Don’t say, I dunno, but just find the answer so that they don’t think that I’m silly. I didn’t wanna be thought of as stupid or not knowing my stuff, and I had to get back to them immediately. But all this did, this false sense of urgency created stress. Stress for me, and I’m sure on the other end, my clients or someone who I was chatting to in my dms

didn’t really feel that way,

but as I became more confident and more assured in myself, I started to realize that, you know what? This isn’t an emergency in these situations that I’m talking about. All I needed to say was, that’s fine. I dunno. I’ll find the answer and come back to you.

One of the hardest things for me was being located on the west coast of Australia. I was doing a lot of business with people over on the east coast of Australia, and because of the time zone difference, I was automatically two to three hours behind, depending upon daylight savings.

And what I used to believe is [00:12:00] that they would start their day at 9:00 AM. I would be waking up and my 9:00 AM would all of a sudden be midday. And then I had this feeling that I was behind. I was late before I’d even begun. How on earth could I catch up and make up that time? When in essence we live in a global society.

There is always going to be someone who is 24 hours behind you in the world. Are they late? No.

Do they need to try and catch up that time? No. It really comes down to recognizing that we are all operating in different time zones. We are all operating on our own timeline. Everything is perfect. There’s no such thing as an emergency.

This particular thought really started hitting home before I actually began my entrepreneurial journey. And when I then had instances of it along my path, it was just this reminder that there is no such thing as a business emergency. So this actually first started in my job, my nine to five, where I was working and I’d had a health scare.

So I actually developed a D V T, a deep vein thrombosis through. Funnily enough through doing too much exercise, it was a strange, strange one. I had a, an underlying mechanical condition in my body, which then when I placed my arms over my head and did a lot of overhead work, it then caused a blood clot, um, all the way down my arm, which was no fun, but it got resolved.

So I’m like, okay, now, which is great. But at the time, what happened is at my job, I thought, oh my gosh. What am I gonna do? I need a month off work in order to have surgery and to just recover and everything that needed to go along with it. And so I sat there before I went in here. I am very unwell, couple of days before my surgery, and I’m trying to get all my work done and I’m pushing myself as much as I can to get it done, get it all done [00:14:00] handed over so that someone can step in for a month and they can look after my work.

I come back after a month and have a massive pile of work sitting on my desk. I thought it was important. I thought it was urgent. Now these were payments, so people probably did wanna get paid, but when I came back, my boss simply said, there you go. We didn’t have time to do it. And that really hit home that there is no such thing as a business emergency here.

I was gone for my role for a month. No one had stepped in and even touched it and sure, okay. There were a couple of angry people to deal with. But in the scheme of things, I had absolutely busted myself in order to try and get this resolved, and no one touched it. It wasn’t really the emergency that I thought it was.

The world didn’t stop spinning. The business didn’t stop. Everything continued on as per normal. There were a couple of small things to deal with, but it wasn’t an emergency. I shouldn’t have put myself out there. I shouldn’t have put my own health behind this business because it was no emergency. Now caveat to that is there are gonna be some things that are quite urgent when it comes to our business.

Maybe we’re in the middle of a launch and all of a sudden all of our funnels and everything just goes haywired. It breaks down on us, and we need to get that solved. And yes, we need to get in touch with tech and all of the things like that. That’s going to be more urgent, definitely. But in the scheme of things, what I’m talking about here is the, the mindset shift to reframe urgency and reframe what it is that is causing us stress in our business. Is it truly a business emergency or is it just something that we perceive to be, 

and quite often this comes back to boundaries. Bringing you back to where I was talking in my earlier days in entrepreneurship, I had set really poor boundaries. I hadn’t set expectations with my clients around what my timeframes were to come back to them in. And had I done that, that would’ve solved a lot of my problems and would’ve resolved a lot [00:16:00] of my stress that came along with it.

So the next mindset shift that I wanna talk about is your timeline is perfect. Oh, it’s all in divine timing. And this again, was another huge one for me. I would be busy comparing myself to other entrepreneurs that I saw who had completely different life circumstances to me, and I would expect to operate on their particular timeframe.

So I’m talking about people who. Didn’t have a part-time job at the time. People who didn’t have kids at the time, they were there having their business working in it full-time with no other interruptions that I could see. And again, this is just my perception of what is happening in someone else’s life.

What I perceive could be completely different to what’s actually going on. And I think that’s something that we do need to be cognizant of as well. It’s only our perception of what’s happening, but here I was perceiving that. My timeline wasn’t good enough because they, they were moving so much quicker than I was.

And so what I was doing is I was placing this unnecessary pressure on myself. I was creating this unnecessary comparison where I was feeling less than because they were doing so much better than I was. And so what we want to actually come back to is realizing that our own timeline is perfect. We are all different.

We all have different circumstances in our lives. We all have different things going on. We also have different visions. We also have different goals and what it is that we’re trying to achieve. We don’t know what someone else is striving for. Maybe they’ve gone ahead and they said, I wanna achieve this in 12 months, and yet you said I wanna achieve it in three years.

So when you’re sitting there comparing what they’re doing month to month compared to what you are, of course it’s gonna be different. Your timeline is perfect.

And so when we can actually start to trust in that, lean into the universe and understand that yes, divine [00:18:00] timing, things will come to you when they’re meant to happen. Embrace that patience and trust in the process. Oh, it just feels like such a relief. And when you do that, and when you take that step back and actually have a look at.

What are the things that are happening that are working in your favor? What is happening right now? You start to actually celebrate those small wins along the way, and this is something that is so important, is that we do actually take time to stop and celebrate the wins, just because maybe you haven’t hit that major milestone yet, and I say yet because it will happen if you keep moving along in that direction.

When you stop and actually celebrate the small things along the way, you’ll start to see how much progress you have actually made. And when you learn to celebrate and be grateful for those small wins and that progress that you’re making along the way, this is then just strengthening your belief in yourself.

And the more that you strengthen your belief in yourself, it becomes a snowball the quicker these things do actually happen.

Which brings me to my last and final mindset shift for now, again, until I change my mind later on, because I’m always growing. So this one is all about you get to decide the rules. Whew. This is your business, your rules. You do it your way. It’s so easy to get caught up in comparison looking at what other people are doing.

And maybe you’re looking at someone else and you’re saying they’ve got a really successful business because they have this mastermind. They have, each month they’re releasing a brand new workshop, and then on top of that, they have a community, a membership, and all of these different things. And you thought, wow, that’s incredible.

I want to do that. But if that doesn’t align to your values, it doesn’t align to your goals, it doesn’t actually make you feel good when you think about it. It just feels overwhelming. Why would you want to do [00:20:00] that? Your business, your rules. So maybe you’re someone that says, I only wanna work three days a week.

I want to be able to take a week off once every two months just to go and do nothing. Go completely offline. That’s great. Your business, your rules. You get to decide what that looks like. And so a lot of this comes back to really defining it. What does success look like for you? Are you someone who values freedom?

Are you someone who values earning a lot of money, maybe having to work really hard now, doing it for a couple of years, and then just completely sort of stepping back and allowing your investments to continue building your wealth. I dunno, what are your values? And so this is why it’s really important and one of the things that I do with my clients, and I truly believe that everything starts here is understanding your values.

Who are you? What is it that lights you up? What fills you with joy? And when you actually understand these, then you can start building your business based on that. Because business is meant to be fun. Business is not meant to feel like it’s just a grind. You escape the nine to five in order to create your own business to make it feel fun.

And so this is something that I’m actually really big on myself, is that how could I build a business that is fun when I speak to people outside the entrepreneurs and people within the coaching industry in this kind of online space?

They often look at me and they think that’s a bit strange. You can’t do that. But this is the beauty of it all, is that when we are outside the standard system and we, when we do get to start following these unconventional paths, the sky really is the limit. We can set the rules. We get to decide the type of business and the type of life that we wanna create.

So what I’m doing later this week is actually traveling up north [00:22:00] to go live on a cattle station, my family cattle station for a month to escape the winter. It’s fun. Why not? I want to do it. And so I’ve gone and created my life and designed my life in a way that allows me to do that. And yes, that does mean a little juggling because we have kids and my husband and there’s a few other different people to take into consideration.

It’s not purely just me. But we’ve gone and designed our life in a way that is really flexible. I’ve designed my business in a way that is really flexible. This allows me to do this, and that’s what it is. My business, my rules. I remember one time I was having this launch, and unfortunately myself, the kids and everyone got sick mid-launch.

And I initially was froze and I was like, what am I gonna do? I said that I’m finishing and closing my doors on this particular date. What am I gonna do? I’m so sick. I’m trying to deal with two kids, cuz my husband’s away at the moment and I literally cannot jump on Instagram. I literally cannot do anything for this launch because I have two kids which are snuggled right up to me.

And this is, again, it comes back to my values. What’s more important? My family. My family is one of my, my huge values. It’s one of my core values. And so when this came to the launch, I was like, you know what? It’s my business. No one is going to say you can’t extend your launch out by another week. And so that’s what I did.

I told everyone, Hey, I’m, I’m unwell. This is what’s happening. I’m just putting a pause on this. I will come back to you in a week and we’re going to extend out, extend out the launch. And that’s exactly what I did. I set the rules and no one come back to me and said, you can’t do that. And if they had, well then they’re not my people.

But when we do this, when we actually then change things up and tell our community what’s going on, it creates that permission slip for them to do the same as well. And I believe that so many of these different mindset shifts that I’ve talked about here, they really are that [00:24:00] permission slip. And this is what being a leader is all about, is showing others that we can do this.

We are going first and showing others that they can have this too. So let’s go back and recap what the mindset shifts were to really get you out of your head, drop you into your body, and allow to create an awesome business that feels truly, truly incredible and juicy because that’s what we are here for, isn’t it?

So the first one is that everything in business is an experiment. Yes, you’re going to fail. Things are not gonna work out. But when you actually look for the lessons in the failures and learn to integrate these into your business, tweak things, try new things and just keep going, this is when you’re going to really see that growth.

The second one is you’re allowed to change your mind. So as you grow, you are going to change. You’re going to develop more knowledge, more wisdom, and this is then going to change maybe things just a little or maybe a lot. Maybe you’re gonna go a complete 180 and go in the other direction.

And that is okay. You’re allowed to pivot. You’re allowed to completely change your business if you want to, and if you own that, people are gonna accept it. If they don’t, not for you, that’s fine. All good. Number three is that there’s no such thing as a business emergency. Stuff is gonna go wrong, things are gonna break. And yes, you’re gonna feel stressed at times, but really reframe the urgency of things. Is this truly critical? And if it is, sure, deal with it. Or is it just me maybe believing that it’s an emergency room? Really it’s not. Can I actually implement stronger boundaries and maybe set those boundaries first, which are then gonna solve a lot of these issues?

Number four is that your timeline is perfect, and this is about us all following our own unique path. We have our own unique situations, our own unique journey and timeline, and [00:26:00] really just trusting and leaning into that and relieving the pressure, stopping the comparison that you have around what you are doing compared to what others are doing, because you don’t actually know what’s going on in their life, 

there’s an old saying about the grass always being greener. Gosh, I’m turning into my parents, all these old sayings. Quite often when we look at what someone else is doing, we think it is better than us, but we don’t really know what’s going on. Number five is that you get to decide the rules. So your business your way is something’s not working.

Change it 

if you wanna create your business in a way that feels a little bit unconventional for it, your business, your rules. And the thing is, when you actually start to do this, you are going to create that community of diehard fans who’ll be like, fuck yeah, I love what she’s doing. I wanna be like that. I’m coming along for the ride.

So my love, what I really encourage you to do here is to reflect on your own mindset and have a look. Are there any areas for growth? Where can you implement some of these? And to really give yourself that permission to just take the weight off your shoulders and allow you to then really focus on your business to stop being distracted and sending your energy into all of these other areas that really aren’t going to benefit from it.

To stop being distracted and allowing your energy to be dispersed and to really just bring that back in, in a regroup and allow your focus to go back to where it needs to be on your big vision and your mission and the impact that you’re here to make. 

So my love. Release the pressure shift out of your head and you do you see you next time.

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The power of 'the pause'.

Reconnect to your inner wisdom. Reclaim your unique magic. And reignite your leadership.

Reconnect to your inner wisdom. Reclaim your unique magic.
And reignite your leadership.

I believe in a world of omnicolour, not beige— where we're not designed to fit neatly into a box, but to be multi-faceted, multi-talented and multi-dimensional… just like you.

My mission is to redefine what feminine leadership means, helping you break down generational barriers and achieve your vision, creating a legacy that will be felt for generations to come.

I coach female entrepreneurs who are over the "one-size-fits-all" approach to business success (which doesn't work) to get to know themselves on a deep soul level and clear up all that internal sh*t that's stopping them from having the business of their dreams.


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