Ever felt that uncomfortable tug, that unsettling feeling of being in-between, uncertain, and maybe even a bit lost? I’m talking about ‘The Void.’
It’s the space we often try to avoid, a murky territory filled with discomfort and uncertainty. But here’s the hidden secret—it’s precisely within ‘The Void’ where epic personal growth unfolds. It’s the cocoon where lessons metamorphose into embodied wisdom, birthing visionary leaders in the process.
In this episode I’m taking you on a journey deep into the heart of ‘The Void’ so you can feel empowered for the next time you find yourself here.
In this episode, we explore:
- The internal and external pressures that are causing this discomfort
- How slowing down and remaining in stillness actually allows you to go faster
- Why the void is necessary in your own self-mastery
- The process to effectively navigate the void
- Taking an empowered stance as you move through the process
Get ready to lean into that self-trust, my love, as we surrender to the wonders of ‘The Void.’
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Amanda xo
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Transcript
[00:00:00] Amanda: My highest self knew that I needed to simply sit in the void We think that if we push through the void, rather than sitting in this state of stillness that is going to be faster. And it actually slows down our growth we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes and to face those same lessons again.
[00:00:54] Amanda: Hello, my love and welcome back to the feminine luminary podcast. I can’t believe it’s season two already. And this season is going to be absolutely incredible. I loved all the guests that I had on all the topics and everything that we spoke about in season one. But let me tell you this is next level.
[00:01:15] Amanda: So stick around. You are going to love it. We’ve had a couple of weeks break between the seasons and this is exactly what I needed because from today’s topic, you’re going to learn why. I’m talking about the void, you know, that space in between. That really uncomfortable uncertain space that is very necessary. But most people, most entrepreneurs will try and avoid it. Because it’s uncomfortable. It feels uncertain. And it’s frequently confused as this place of like stagnation and we need to do things.
[00:01:54] Amanda: Is this innate thing that human beings have is that we don’t like to sit still. And when we do, [00:02:00] it’s just like, oh, this is uncomfortable. But what I want to talk about today in this episode is why it is crucial to actually recognize the Boyd as being this fertile ground for change and your growth. Picture it this way. Pictured as a cocoon right before the butterfly emerges.
[00:02:17] Amanda: It’s this transformation or incubator? It’s this magical portal for your mind, your body and soul to really integrate and become one. Is this time when all the lessons and learning start really land and they infuse without being into become embodied. It’s like this quiet before a powerful storm of your personal evolution. Mm.
[00:02:41] Amanda: See, let me think of it that way. All of a sudden the Boyd becomes this completely different place. It becomes this place that we believe is so necessary. So, let me take you on a little bit of a journey of my past couple of months. Following the launch of a recent program that I had, it was an incredible launch.
[00:02:59] Amanda: Really amazing. But I found myself in the voyage. I’d given it, my all I’d really push myself to my edges and I will supporting myself with my own tools. I had my coach, I had my holistic support network around me. But here, I was still finding myself in the void. Having that sense of emptiness. Just wondering, like, what are my next steps?
[00:03:21] Amanda: Where to from here?
[00:03:24] Amanda: And so having been in the Boyd before. I knew that it was okay. It’s going to be fine. It’s just a matter of sitting here and waiting it out. Biding my time. Taking from what, what I need to take from it.
[00:03:38] Amanda: SO, as I said, my launch was amazing. I was really happy with how it went. And there was so many lessons that I took away from it as there always is. I think anyone who is operating in this entrepreneurial space, who is a leader and actually wants to continually up level their work and to continually do better and learn. They are going to notice these lessons.
[00:03:57] Amanda: They’re going to take them away. But the difficult [00:04:00] part is actually putting it into that next step. And so in this space, in between or in the void, This is where we take the time to integrate it all. Where we take those lessons, which we know about intellectually. And we actually turn them into embodied wisdom. That is the magic of it. So, as I said, I’ve been here many times before. Even though it’s uncomfortable, even home wanting to move forward and can see everyone else around me doing things. And it can feel difficult to sit in my own silence. Yes. I’ve been through the process. And even for me, it’s difficult. To do so because Hey, I’m human.
[00:04:37] Amanda: We’re all human. But my highest self knew that I needed to simply sit in the void Because if I didn’t, if I pushed through as so many people want to do and they do end up doing, we are simply doomed to repeat the same mistakes and to have to face those same lessons again. And it actually slows down our growth. We think that if we push through the void, rather than sitting in this site, state of stillness or this slowness. That is going to be faster. But I actually love to say, I love to say slow down to speed up. And that’s because we integrate the lesson at this time around. And then next time we get to lay private, we get to zoom right past it, not bypass it. But go faster through it. So why is it so difficult to actually sit in this point?
[00:05:25] Amanda: Like where does this discomfort come from? And I want to break it down into two different parts. Look at it from the internal pressures. And from the external pressures perspective.
[00:05:34] Amanda: So. Why do people want to rush through.
[00:05:41] Amanda: At its core, it’s this departure from the known into unknown or uncharted territory. I mean, we all have our comfort zone, right. It’s called the comfort zone because it’s so comfy, it’s predictable and safe. But if we are stepping into the void, it means leaving that comfort behind. And that can feel [00:06:00] pretty unsettling, especially the first time around. Our brains are wired to seek safety and predictability, and it triggers discomfort when we are faced with the unknown. It’s essentially this ancient survival mechanism that we have, this instinct has been passed down throughout the generations, through the decades for the centuries. That the brain, particularly the amygdala part of the brain. Which tends to process uncertainty as a potential threat. When we are sitting in the void or the state of uncertainty. It’s going to feel like a threat. That’s where the discomfort comes from.
[00:06:38] Amanda: So when the discomfort starts to come in, What I want you to remember is that this is not assigned to retreat. In fact, it’s simply a signal for your potential growth and your transformation. So think of it like a GPS instead, that’s telling you that you are on the right path. Even though it feels completely unfamiliar and a little bit daunting.
[00:07:00] Amanda: If we look at this idea of these problem, instincts for safety and take it a little bit further.
[00:07:04] Amanda: There’s this evolutionary aspect of discomfort that comes in the face of uncertainty. I mean picture our ancestors, they’re navigating these uncertain terrains or these unknown trains that are potentially surrounded by all of these dangers. And that discomfort that we have, that’s actually the survival mechanism, which is urging them to tread carefully. Our ancestors developed this survival in state to avoid the unknown for self preservation.
[00:07:30] Amanda: And it made sense back then, like right. We. Needed to stay away from the unknown, because that meant staying alive. But fast forward to today, we still actually carry around these remnants of that instinct. And the void triggers the ancient response in us. So if we think about how this ancient response correlates to the modern data’s comfort of being in the void. We realized that our brains are still wide. To receive the unknown as a potential [00:08:00] threat. It’s like having these over-protective guardian within us. Wanting us to be cautious. Even though we’ve have completely evolved and it’s no longer relevant. It’s just instinctual. It’s something hardwired into us. And it comes out at these times.
[00:08:16] Amanda: When we start to think about the psychological aspects of uncertainty. And how our brains actually operate. They are complex and they are brilliant. But they also have this really unique response to uncertainty. And it acts like this cognitive alarm bell ringing, signaling that things just aren’t quite clear. And so when you think about the void, that’s exactly what it is.
[00:08:38] Amanda: It’s this place of things, not being clear. And so what does our brain do? It’s going to respond to this ambiguity. With this overbearing desire for control. Because we crave patterns, we crave certainty and that reduces the feeling of ever ambiguity. I remember as a brand new mom. Saying to myself and seeing all the other moms around there going, you know what?
[00:09:05] Amanda: They’ve got these strict routines. They’re not very exciting. Where’s the spontaneity gone. I’m not going to be one of those mums. And I tried it for awhile. But it was really hard. The kids crave routine. I ended up craving routine. It’s just this way that we are wired. Because having that fundamental desire for control, it’s a way of being able to bring that order. To the chaos of the unknown. And the unknown with kids.
[00:09:33] Amanda: Well, that can be quite chaotic. The unknown of the void. Well, same sort of thing. But when we actually start to understand these psychological aspects, we can then empower ourselves to navigate the Boyd with resilience. So by acknowledging the fact that our brains are wired to seek control and predictability. We can then consciously choose to reframe our thoughts and embrace the uncertainty as a catalyst for our [00:10:00] growth. Rather than against us.
[00:10:03] Amanda: Now the other way that this discomfort shows up is through the external pressures. So we’ve looked at what’s actually going on inside of us. That’s causing that discomfort and the, around the uncertainty.
[00:10:13] Amanda: But there’s also this external pressure outside of us. PaRticularly in the online space. There’s this omnipresence of comparison culture in today’s world. We are so interconnected. Everything is visible to everyone else. We’re all on social media.
[00:10:28] Amanda: There’s these particular expectations that society has of us. We have the peer comparisonitis that is going on. All of that can be crushing on us. I mean, look at the perfectly curated lives on social media. Thankfully, we are starting to see a little bit of a shift where people are craving authenticity.
[00:10:46] Amanda: They’re craving. People being genuine. They don’t want this false facade, this mask anymore. But up until now and. That is still a large portion of people who are hiding behind that mask. Because they’re too afraid. To actually show what’s behind it. For fear of comparison.
[00:11:07] Amanda: I know for myself when I first started my business.
[00:11:09] Amanda: I was working in network marketing. And one of the things that I’ve really noticed was that so many of my team. Didn’t have kids. I was a newish mother at that point in time. And so the way that I worked at the time that I had available, the way that my family was structured. It was very different to someone who was a, a younger, single person. Or even a younger coupled person, they could operate in their own schedule.
[00:11:34] Amanda: They didn’t have little human beings running around that needed their attention and that I wanted to give my attention to. And so one of the things that I found is that. I was comparing myself and my journey, my life, how things were for me. To them. I would always feel not enough. I was never doing enough.
[00:11:54] Amanda: I wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t fast enough. All of these things. [00:12:00] Made me feel like I was failing. It made me feel like I was in an inadequate.
[00:12:06] Amanda: And this took me many, many years to work through and my business is completely different. Now I’ve moved out of network marketing. I have my own coaching business. But even in that I recently shared on my social media, around how. My biggest thing that I’ve had to come to terms with is that this is my way of doing business. This is the life that I’ve created. It is slower.
[00:12:28] Amanda: Yes, absolutely. To slow off from someone who can devote their. Sells full time to their business. But I’ve actually set my life up in a way that works for me. I get to be present as a mum. I get to be present as a coach. I get to have all of these things. It’s exactly what I desire. But it’s going to operate it at a much slower pace. And I’m okay with that. It took me a while to come to terms with that comparisonitis and to get really clear on what it was that I wanted and to feel okay with it. And then if we zoom out. We’ve also got people feeling really inadequate because there’s all these traditional markers of success that exist. I mean, look at the different lists. The 30, under 30, the 40, under 40, or have you got a house? If you got kids, have you got the college degree? These are all of these things that society has placed in this pressure on us.
[00:13:18] Amanda: And so if you think about this in terms of the void, if we are sitting in stillness, if we are taking time just to integrate and do nothing apart from be. It feels like everything is zooming on around us. And so I can make it that place. Just feel that little bit more uncertain, uncomfortable.
[00:13:37] Amanda: And then if we take this one step further, quite often, we’re actually measuring our self worth against these external achievements. If we think about this at the core. So many of these beliefs. That we have are actually rooted in an earlier experiences because the age from zero to seven, it does vary a little bit, but tending upon which, depending upon which particular texts that you take information from, but [00:14:00] really it’s from a to zero to seven, there are transformative years. All of our belief systems, our internal programming is set by that point in time. And so if we’re looking back to our childhood, How do we feel worthy? It was when we were praised, we were validated for our achievements, whether they be academic, artistic, or athletic. Whatever it was, we were receiving this external validation for our achievements. And that then became ingrained. As our measure of our Southworth. You got a gold star. Bo done. You won the contest?
[00:14:36] Amanda: Well done. If you won, if you got the gold star, you were worthy.
[00:14:42] Amanda: And they then shaped our beliefs around our worthiness that we navigated through the rest of our life. So if we think back to my earliest statement around how we live in a culture that celebrates success through tangible accomplishments. So that thriving Korea, the beautiful house, all the societal recognition. If you aren’t actually, I would to conform to these standards and there’s a lot of pressure to do so.
[00:15:07] Amanda: That can really intensify the link to our perception of our self-worth. But our net worth, my love is not equal to yourself with. That just perpetuates this cycle of like constantly needing to strive. Which again means we can’t actually sit in that void. Which brings me to my next point. This idea around constant motion equals success. Now, I think we’re starting to move beyond the idea of hustle culture, but there definitely has been a glorification of this.
[00:15:36] Amanda: Busy-ness the ability to multitask and this underlying assumption that. Constantly being in motion, signifies, ambition and success. I mean, all you need to do is look at your social media stories. And there’s it’s full of people, showcasing pack schedules, and it’s always on the go lifestyles. This narrative creates this illusion. That busy-ness it’s not just a state of being, [00:16:00] but it’s a badge of honor as well. But when we actually pull back the layers. We find that this narrative often neglects the importance of intentional pauses. And reflective moments. Like the void. Our success is not solely about being in constant motion.
[00:16:19] Amanda: It’s about the meaningful progress and personal growth. And so if you continue down that path and we leave that this idea of needing to constantly be in motion unchecked. Let me tell you that is a recipe for burnout, stifling, your creativity, your wellbeing, and just like everything. That is good. In life.
[00:16:39] Amanda: Because when we think about where all of these things start to flourish, the creativity, the pleasure, the joy, all of that. It’s in the moments of stillness and contemplation. And so this constant busy-ness actually drowns out those moments. And it hinders all of that.
[00:16:57] Amanda: I mean. I’ve talked about this before. But the amount of breakthroughs that come through this time of like quiet, this quiet contemplation is quiet reflection. Rather than the midst of business, this beautiful white space. I talk about it all the time. This is something that I find so much my own journey. That is where the magic happens.
[00:17:22] Amanda: So how do we actually navigate this void? This place of deep growth and upleveling.
[00:17:30] Amanda: Because it’s not just a pause. It’s this pathway to personal professional empowerment. When we navigate the void with intention, we cultivate the self-confidence and the self-trust.
[00:17:42] Amanda: It creates connection. Embracing this uncertainty fosters resilience and resilience is the foundation of self competence. It’s about acknowledging that growth often happens in the discomfort of the unknown. Which is exactly where we are in the void.
[00:18:00]
[00:18:00] Amanda: It’s also about empowerment.
[00:18:01] Amanda: So by navigating this void, you’re the one taking charge of the narrative. You’re not just this passive observer. You were the active participant in your own journey. Steering towards personal and professional empowerment.
[00:18:15] Amanda: So what I’m hoping for you, my love is that by understanding. Where these feelings are coming from and knowing that they are completely normal. When we are sitting in the void, when we’re in that discomfort of this uncertainty, this unknown. That it actually goes a long way to easing those feelings that icky around being there. It goes a long way to building that self trust and your ability to surrender into the process. Of unraveling. Introspection. Integration and upleveling. Because integration is the key to all this. It’s about waving the lessons from the void into the fabric of her being embodying the wisdom gained through this transformative process.
[00:19:02] Amanda: So how do we actually do this?
[00:19:04] Amanda: I’m sure. You’re thinking. That’s great. Amanda. Amazing. Love the idea. But how do I actually do it? Tell me, how do I do it? And I’m not going to leave you waiting. So these are some very easy steps that you can use to navigate the void in your own life. And the first one is to embrace donors. So intentionally allow moments of stillness. For self-reflection. And connection. Now the length of time that you remain in this stillness or in this duration of the void will actually vary depending upon yourself, the lessons you need to take from it. How familiar you are with the process.
[00:19:43] Amanda: There’s no right or wrong answer. It’s simply just a case of you doing what works for you.
[00:19:49] Amanda: Step two is identifying the lessons. So reflect on what the lessons are that the board is presenting. And let me tell you there are going to be lessons. It may not seem that [00:20:00] way at first. I know it’s very easy just to throw your hands up in there and say, I don’t know. It’s too hard. I don’t want to be here.
[00:20:04] Amanda: Let’s move on. That’s the hard part. You need to embrace it. Stillness, stay there to rush through it. And then dig around what the lessons are. So what transformations are calling for your attention? There are going to be some. It might be one, it might be many. But there are definitely going to be lessons there.
[00:20:27] Amanda: Now step three, this is when you’re starting to integrate those lessons. You’ve taken the learnings. You understand what it is. And then we want to actually take a line to action. So we want to translate these insights into some form of action. It doesn’t need to be large. It could be something quite small. It might just be what’s my next best step one foot in front of the other. It doesn’t need to be go from zero to a hundred.
[00:20:53] Amanda: It could just be okay. What’s going to take me to one.
[00:20:59] Amanda: So, what are the next steps that are going to resonate with this new found understanding that you have?
[00:21:06] Amanda: And step four. Is to seek support. I don’t go alone. I don’t do this by yourself because it’s going to be very easy to fall into that comparison trap and just go, you know what? I’m just gonna push through. I’m not going to actually sit here and be in the power of the void. So seek the support of those around you. Whether it be mentors, friends, or professionals, someone who’s going to guide you through this.
[00:21:32] Amanda: And one of the things that I’m a huge advocate for is having other entrepreneurial friends. People who are going through it exactly the same as you are that you can chat about and go, you know what? It’s not just a me thing. Other people are feeling the same. Because quite often when we feel like it’s amazing, it’s very easy just to internalize it and start to fall into victim mode. But I don’t want you to do that.
[00:21:54] Amanda: I want you to feel empowered. This whole process has to be empowered.
[00:21:59] Amanda: And so [00:22:00] above all this. As you were going through the steps. I want you to trust in the process and take your time. That’s self-trust in the surrender. Because the void is there for you. It says magic place. Not this place to be fair, but one to actually be embraced.
[00:22:19] Amanda: Now if you’re an affirmation lover, I have something for you too. This can be a really powerful affirmation to lean into throughout the process. And that is I trust the journey. Even when I can’t see the destination. The void is my canvas for growth. And I trust in my ability to navigate his depths.
[00:22:41] Amanda: Or if you so many buffers, the mindset reframe, think of it this way. That uncertainty is not a roadblock. It’s simply a stepping stone. It’s an opportunity to shape my narrative, cultivate resistance, and build the self confidence needed to thrive.
[00:22:59] Amanda: Whichever way you want to look at it.
[00:23:00] Amanda: The void is not something to be feared. It’s not something to shy away from because it is actually part of your growth.
[00:23:11] Amanda: Same on love. If we think about what we’ve talked about in this episode. We’ve really embarked on this journey to the sacred terrain of the void. We’ve talked about the nuances that is comfort and the transformational potential that it has. The void is not this obstacle to be conquered. But it’s this place where we get to take a moment to breathe. To reflect. And integrate the wisdom that we’ve uncovered. It’s a sacred place. Where the seeds of transformation, Germany.
[00:23:42] Amanda: And just as I found myself, sitting in the void out, are there significant launch that I had pushing beyond my edges and get feeling this real sense of emptiness. I knew. That, Hey, this is a familiar space. One that I’ve danced in before. It’s going to be okay.
[00:24:00]
[00:24:01] Amanda: And so the next time that you find yourself in here too, or maybe you’re currently here now, just know that it’s okay.
[00:24:06] Amanda: It’s more than, okay. It’s actually something that is necessary. This space feels uncomfortable, but it is necessary for your growth. The discomfort is not assigned to retreat. But it’s a signal for your potential growth. It’s a sign of your up leveling your evolution.
[00:24:22] Amanda: If you allow it.
[00:24:25] Amanda: Embracing this space. Can lead to such incredible personal and professional upleveling.
[00:24:33] Amanda: Think of as these integration as becoming your compass. Guiding you to weave the lessons into the very fabric of your being.
[00:24:43] Amanda: So my love now you hold the tools to navigate the void in your business, in your life and everything that is all encompassing. Embrace that stillness. Identify the lessons. Take the aligned action and remember to seek support as well. But most of all, trust in the process. For the void is not avoided all. It’s actually the canvas for your growth and evolution.
[00:25:10] Amanda: Well, there you go.
[00:25:11] Amanda: My love. The end of the first episode for season two. I hope you’ve loved that one. As much as myself. It’s a very recent learning of mine. It’s something that I’ve just gone through. And I know that it’s going to be so relevant for what you sometime in the near future.
[00:25:28] Amanda: So please take from this what you need right now. And if not for now. Then for next time. I will see you next week.
[00:26:00]
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