Your little one is growing older and slowly starting to need you less. The baby stage has gone and you feel some room to breathe again. Now that you have the space to think, you realise you’re at the crossroads. You said you’d focus on yourself and your dreams once your little one was a bit older…and it seems that time has finally come.
…but the truth is, you’re terrified.
Instead, you find yourself making excuses. “I don’t have time,” “It’s not the right time,” “I need to wait until everything is perfect.” These are all valid concerns, yet they’re also excuses. And if you’re being honest with yourself, you know that’s not true. You know you’re just scared. Scared of taking action and failing. Scared of not being good enough. Scared of putting yourself out there.
So what if you fail? What if you’re not ready? What if you don’t have enough time?
We’ve all been there. We’ve all had those dreams and goals that we told ourselves we’d achieve “someday.” But someday never comes, because we’re always waiting for the perfect time.
The truth is, you’ll never be 100% ready and there’s never going to be a “perfect time.” The magic is in the taking action. Leap and the universe will catch you.
So what are you waiting for? It’s time to take action now.
The dreaded “I don’t have time” belief
One of the biggest limiting beliefs holding you back is the belief that you don’t have time. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, yet some people always seem to find the time to do the things they want and achieve their goals. Why is that?
The answer is simple: they’ve made it a priority. They understand that if something is important to them, they will make time for it. And if they don’t have time, they’ll make time by cutting out things that aren’t as important.
Looking back over your past 24 hours – how did you spend them? How long did you spend scrolling social media? How long were you procrastinating and doing things that weren’t valuable or meaningful?
These are all things that you can cut out of our day if you really want to make time for something. The truth is, when you say “I don’t have time,” what you’re really saying is “that it’s not a priority for me”. And that’s okay (as long as it’s not actually a priority for you); but if simply saying that out-loud makes you cringe…maybe it’s time to re-assess that idea of lack of time.
Wearing ‘busy-ness’ as a badge of honour
In patriarchal society, we wear busy-ness as a badge of honour. The more things we have on our plate, the better. We view people who are always “on the go” and constantly busy as more successful and important than those who aren’t. Just look at the regard with which we hold the “Supermum” ideology and by contrast the stay-at-home mum!
But what we don’t realise is that constantly being in our masculine energy with all this busy-ness is often what leads to burnout. It’s not sustainable. And it doesn’t leave any room for creativity, playfulness or joy. As feminine beings, this is where we do our best work. When you learn to soften and slow down as you move throughout life; time appears to slow down and work with you.
The delusion of the “perfect time”
You’re waiting for the stars to align and all the pieces to fall into place before you take action. The perfect job. The perfect partner. The perfect motherhood situation. You’re waiting for the perfect moment…but it never comes.
And that’s because there is no such thing as the “perfect time.” There’s only now.
There will always be something out of alignment or some form of obstacle in your way. That’s just life!
The notion of the “perfect time” is merely a self-delusion and an excuse to not take action. It’s a way of your ego keeping you small and safe. But if you want to achieve big goals and live a life of purpose, you have to be willing to take risks. You have to put yourself out there, even when you’re not sure of the outcome.
Going a level deeper – the fear behind the excuse
When you look behind the lack of time belief, the root cause of not taking action is often fear-based. You’re afraid of failing, of not being good enough or of being rejected. You’re afraid of change to your circumstances or in the status quo. And all of these fears stem from a lack of self-worth and self-love.
Fear of Change
The only constant in life is change. And yet, you often resist it with everything you have. Why is that?
Change can be daunting. It can be uncomfortable. But it’s also necessary for growth. If you want to achieve your goals and dreams, you need to be willing to change your circumstances. You need to take action, even when it’s scary.
Fear of Failure
Another big one! You’re so afraid of failing that you don’t even try. And yet, the only way to fail is to not try at all.
What if you do fail? What if you weren’t quite ready?
That’s ok! Failure is part of the process. It’s how you learn and grow. You need to fail in order to succeed. Re-framing failure as part of the process will help you to take action, even when you’re afraid.
Fear of Success
Sometimes it’s not failure you’re afraid of…it’s success.
You might have a fixed mindset that tells you that you’re not good enough or talented enough to be successful. So, you self-sabotage in order to protect yourself from the disappointment of not reaching your goals.
Or maybe you don’t feel worthy of success. You don’t feel like you deserve it. Your inner critic is convinced that you’re not good enough, so why bother trying?
Maybe, on a deeper level, you’re afraid of who you will become if you are successful. You’re comfortable with the person you are now and the life you have. You’re worried about losing your identity or that things will become too complicated if you achieve your goals.
All of these fears are valid. But they’re also just thoughts – beliefs that you’ve created in your head. You don’t see the world as it is, you only see it as you are. View it through someone else’s eyes and it will look completely different!
What you’re missing out on while waiting for the “perfect time”
Motherhood is a beautiful, but also chaotic and messy experience. You’re constantly learning and evolving as you go. And the best way to do that is to take action, even when you’re not sure of the outcome.
When you’re stuck in the waiting game, you’re missing out on valuable experiences and opportunities for your own healing and growth. You’re also missing out on valuable, quality time with your children.
Your kids are only little for a short time and they need you present and engaged in order to thrive. They need you to be the best version of yourself, not the perfect version.
They’re missing out on your laughter, your playfulness and your love. They’re missing out on opportunities to learn and grow with you.
NOW, really is the “perfect time”
So, what are you waiting for?
It’s time to take action! It’s time to let go of the “perfect time” excuse and start living your life with purpose. Here are some steps you can take:
- Acknowledge your fear. Identify the root cause of your resistance.
- Re-frame your beliefs about failure and success. Remember that failure is part of the process and that you are worthy of success.
- Recognise that you have been putting your little one ahead of your own needs for so long, it’s time to prioritise you.
- Get clear on your goals. What do you want to achieve? Why is it important to you?
- Make a plan. Break down your goals into small, manageable steps.
- Take action! Don’t wait for the perfect time, because it doesn’t exist. Just start taking steps towards your goal and trust that you will figure it out as you go.
- Be patient with yourself. Change takes time. Be kind and patient as you work towards becoming the best version of yourself.
- Celebrate your progress. Acknowledge each small victory along the way. This will help to keep you motivated and inspired.
The bottom line is that you need to take action, even when you’re afraid. Procrastination is just fear in disguise. It’s time to let go of the “perfect time” excuse and start living your life with purpose. Take small steps each day and trust that you will figure it out as you go. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. Trust that you have the strength and ability to handle whatever comes your way. And once you make the decision to commit, the universe works in mysterious ways to support you.
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